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R is back from England today.

I don't sleep well when he is away. I keep a side light on, sometimes the cats sleep around me. Last night our old boy crept under the covers of the bed because it's cold. I held him close so he could hear my heart beating, and he slept for a long time. I didn't. But that's OK.

A friend was mentioning on her blog how gloomth is the in thing this Christmas. I enjoy a bit of gloomth personally, a dark room, a fire, candles... but I can't quite get into it this year because I feel a kind of brightness behind so much. Impossible to explain. I'm a fairweather goth at the best of times, in it for the velvet and black jewelled chokers with a side order of Anne Rice. Another friend cheerfully told me that I was getting into the real vibe of the season.

'Death,' she said, ' that light you feel is death.'

She is not a fairweather goth. I suspect telling her it's just a good mood might spoil her whole day.

So this is for her though I'm not sure it quite suits. But sometimes it suits me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4GF7imFczI

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