Snow people
Feb. 24th, 2005 02:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
smokingbootare like no people, like no people I know...
My snowman has got me into trouble. Bear in mind that this is the first snowman I have ever created, so I am trying to be proud of it. It is small, but well formed, it has two little sticks for arms, and I have garbed it in a furry hat and pink dress to make it clear that it is a snow lady rather than a snow gentleman. This is because the carrot for nose tradition has an unfortunate way of transforming inocuous blocks of smiling ice into priapic snow satyrs with burgeoning scrotums made from those coals supposedly used for eyes.
So yes, a wee snow lady. However, she's a bit butch. A mother at the bus stop opposite asked me to change the face because it was frightening her child. There's nothing wrong with the face! Those who know the mighty Bruce sans lj may detect a passing resemblance to him, but that's not bad. Hopefully people won't mess with her/him/it.
So I changed the face and added a snow nose. The eyes dropped out, the child cried all the more, and I was only saved from the indignant exhortations of the mother by the arrival of the bus. Three boys came by and asked me if my snow lady had breasts. Just then an older bloke passed, looked at the four of us and told us we were too old for this kind of thing. One of the boys chose the witty riposte of waiting til the man had turned away and smacking him in the back with a snowball. Old dude turned around, fixed a bead on me if you please, and started to scoop up a snowball of his own. I ducked indoors and left them to it.
I just know the next time I look at my snow woman, she will have a rude message scrawled at her feet, or a pair of humungous boobs, or a posse of perverts will have used her for a winter bukkake party.
This is too weird. Roll on Summer.
My snowman has got me into trouble. Bear in mind that this is the first snowman I have ever created, so I am trying to be proud of it. It is small, but well formed, it has two little sticks for arms, and I have garbed it in a furry hat and pink dress to make it clear that it is a snow lady rather than a snow gentleman. This is because the carrot for nose tradition has an unfortunate way of transforming inocuous blocks of smiling ice into priapic snow satyrs with burgeoning scrotums made from those coals supposedly used for eyes.
So yes, a wee snow lady. However, she's a bit butch. A mother at the bus stop opposite asked me to change the face because it was frightening her child. There's nothing wrong with the face! Those who know the mighty Bruce sans lj may detect a passing resemblance to him, but that's not bad. Hopefully people won't mess with her/him/it.
So I changed the face and added a snow nose. The eyes dropped out, the child cried all the more, and I was only saved from the indignant exhortations of the mother by the arrival of the bus. Three boys came by and asked me if my snow lady had breasts. Just then an older bloke passed, looked at the four of us and told us we were too old for this kind of thing. One of the boys chose the witty riposte of waiting til the man had turned away and smacking him in the back with a snowball. Old dude turned around, fixed a bead on me if you please, and started to scoop up a snowball of his own. I ducked indoors and left them to it.
I just know the next time I look at my snow woman, she will have a rude message scrawled at her feet, or a pair of humungous boobs, or a posse of perverts will have used her for a winter bukkake party.
This is too weird. Roll on Summer.
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no subject
Date: 2005-02-24 02:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-24 03:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-24 02:55 pm (UTC)*Grins*
Date: 2005-02-24 03:25 pm (UTC)hmm...
no subject
Date: 2005-02-24 03:30 pm (UTC)Best snowperson story ever.
Now, if someone could come round and cleanse from my mind the image of a snowperson bukkake that would be much appreciated.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-24 03:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-24 03:44 pm (UTC)Sounds familiar ;-)