P*ss and sh*t
Mar. 3rd, 2005 01:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
smokingbootLet us not speak of the work I am doing, I say again, let us not speak of my writing. Let us talk* instead, of why I stink of cat urine, why the phone never stops ringing, and why I am about to rant my bloody head off.
Surya came running upstairs, tail all bottle-brushy while I was working. I went downstairs as she seemed clearly spooked. Our little tom, Ralik, seemed totally calm. The conservatory door is open, so that the catlets can get in and out. I go into said conservatory and am greeted by the unmistakeable scent of tom cat. Some total bastard of a mog has been in here and tried to mark it as his own.
There hasn't been a fight. Ralik's calm, Surya isn't. In order to tell the stranger that he really isn't welcome in this part of town, I have sprinkled frankly horrible bits of cat litter at the furthest borders of our garden, and scrubbed (well partially scrubbed, I am supposed to be working today) the rotter's smell out of the house. It has all gone, apart from on my jeans. Despite all the power of rubber gloves and disinfectant, the smell is rank, utterly utterly disgusting. Why is it on my jeans?
Because I have been listening to the woes of some chums - try holding a phone to your ear and scrubbing a floor at the same time - and now I am going to rant about it. Don't get me wrong, I hope I am always there for my friends, but my god, these are a right couple of endless returners. This is not about anybody connected to LJ, speculation as to who, where and what will meet an enormous raspberry, it is not some elegantly crafted gripe created to make others laugh, no-one is going to be interested in it. Move along now, nothing to see here.
Chum Number 1.
Love you OK? Love you lots. But what's fucked up in your life is not fate, the universe, the justified ancients of MuMu, crazed and vindictive occultists from your past or any other fucker. You made some decisions most would call nuts, but that's OK, they made you happy. They weren't very practical decisions, also OK. It's all OK. What is not OK is you spitting blood at the world around you and feeling victimised by life because you aren't getting what you want the way you want it, and then offloading it onto your friendly neighbourhood catpisstinkingboot. Who do you think I am, the ombudsman of the gods? The dynamics of cause and effect are not so intricate that we can't understand them. You have nothing to feel bitter about. Don't spend what you don't have, don't partner yourself with someone who doesn't share your aims, and for god's sake, go do some bloody work rather than playing in the wendy house. There you go. Don't pretend I haven't tried to be gentle with you.
Chum Number 2
Love you too, but man oh man, bad luck again. Yes, things have been a bit shit around your work. I ask you and I beg you not to ask me for yet another reading on this matter; I really don't know why it isn't working. I suspect you are in a career singularly reliant on effective communication, and this is something you just aren't very good at. Yes, you deserve better than this. I hope it changes. Maybe you should go back into tech support. I know, I know, and of course I'm here for you. But come now, this is an emerging pattern. Time to look at it maybe?
By the way, beloved ones, do you remember what I said about needing solitude in order to work right now? Yes, you are unhappy and in trouble. I'm always there for you, but this time I could do with being let off, just once. Is there no-one else out there to talk to? How about talking to each other? Heh heh, just my little joke there.
Chum Number 3
None of this applies to you - you haven't done strange things to my day. If you were a pain I would never have phoned you. You are no hassle at all, especially compared to the above. No paranoid doubts now!
Right, me done. Time for clothes change and back to work.
*actually, screw that, I will do the talking.
Surya came running upstairs, tail all bottle-brushy while I was working. I went downstairs as she seemed clearly spooked. Our little tom, Ralik, seemed totally calm. The conservatory door is open, so that the catlets can get in and out. I go into said conservatory and am greeted by the unmistakeable scent of tom cat. Some total bastard of a mog has been in here and tried to mark it as his own.
There hasn't been a fight. Ralik's calm, Surya isn't. In order to tell the stranger that he really isn't welcome in this part of town, I have sprinkled frankly horrible bits of cat litter at the furthest borders of our garden, and scrubbed (well partially scrubbed, I am supposed to be working today) the rotter's smell out of the house. It has all gone, apart from on my jeans. Despite all the power of rubber gloves and disinfectant, the smell is rank, utterly utterly disgusting. Why is it on my jeans?
Because I have been listening to the woes of some chums - try holding a phone to your ear and scrubbing a floor at the same time - and now I am going to rant about it. Don't get me wrong, I hope I am always there for my friends, but my god, these are a right couple of endless returners. This is not about anybody connected to LJ, speculation as to who, where and what will meet an enormous raspberry, it is not some elegantly crafted gripe created to make others laugh, no-one is going to be interested in it. Move along now, nothing to see here.
Chum Number 1.
Love you OK? Love you lots. But what's fucked up in your life is not fate, the universe, the justified ancients of MuMu, crazed and vindictive occultists from your past or any other fucker. You made some decisions most would call nuts, but that's OK, they made you happy. They weren't very practical decisions, also OK. It's all OK. What is not OK is you spitting blood at the world around you and feeling victimised by life because you aren't getting what you want the way you want it, and then offloading it onto your friendly neighbourhood catpisstinkingboot. Who do you think I am, the ombudsman of the gods? The dynamics of cause and effect are not so intricate that we can't understand them. You have nothing to feel bitter about. Don't spend what you don't have, don't partner yourself with someone who doesn't share your aims, and for god's sake, go do some bloody work rather than playing in the wendy house. There you go. Don't pretend I haven't tried to be gentle with you.
Chum Number 2
Love you too, but man oh man, bad luck again. Yes, things have been a bit shit around your work. I ask you and I beg you not to ask me for yet another reading on this matter; I really don't know why it isn't working. I suspect you are in a career singularly reliant on effective communication, and this is something you just aren't very good at. Yes, you deserve better than this. I hope it changes. Maybe you should go back into tech support. I know, I know, and of course I'm here for you. But come now, this is an emerging pattern. Time to look at it maybe?
By the way, beloved ones, do you remember what I said about needing solitude in order to work right now? Yes, you are unhappy and in trouble. I'm always there for you, but this time I could do with being let off, just once. Is there no-one else out there to talk to? How about talking to each other? Heh heh, just my little joke there.
Chum Number 3
None of this applies to you - you haven't done strange things to my day. If you were a pain I would never have phoned you. You are no hassle at all, especially compared to the above. No paranoid doubts now!
Right, me done. Time for clothes change and back to work.
*actually, screw that, I will do the talking.
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no subject
Date: 2005-03-04 10:31 am (UTC)Chum Number 1...well, I have got as far as telling her that her decisions surely, rather than a cold and angry universe, may be the source of the situation. I have tried to make it sound empowering rather than recriminating. Naturally I have failed!
I am not cut out to be any kind of counsellor. People want my wall-like abilities. What I need is a deaf clone.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-04 06:20 pm (UTC)Sadly, I have not yet figured out how to do this on purpose. If you do, please tell me.