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A pregnant chum of mine recently found herself wandering through Glastonbury for the Goddess Conference. Now, I remember Glastonbury as a funky alternative place, a place of Chalice Well and Grail, of Sacred Thorn and Magic Mushroom, of saints and goddesses and fay and many different kind of magic.

Well, things have changed a bit since my time in Tofu-town. This time, said chum bumped into a lady who had given her incredible healing reiki the year before, she said. The lady smiled at chum's bump and said;

'Are you having a crystal baby?'

My friend, pushing aside visions of giving birth to a huge baby-shaped lump of rose quartz, kept enough of a straight face to ask what the lady was talking about. Ah well. 'Crystal' babies are coming to spiritually inclined parents. They are telepathically speaking to their mothers all the time, and they heal you from within the womb.

Christ on a bicycle. So much for the tabula rasa of childhood and choice. There are so many great reasons for bringing a child into the world aren't there? love insurance, normality reassurance, social pressure, mini-me ego boosts, doll surrogates, profession avoidance and now, finally, healing batteries. Not just healing batteries, spiritual telepathic healing batteries. All for us! Alas for the baby that turns out to be just a kid, more clay than crystal, with no aspirations to be genius, healer or messiah. There I was thinking parenthood had something to do with what we can give our children, that a child is a person, not a function. Clearly I am a fool.

Here are some real crystal babies:

http://www.millenniumminerals.com/gfx/quartz/candle/qm66.4bg.jpg

Date: 2005-08-04 04:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ed-fortune.livejournal.com
And that is exactly why I go no-where near Pagany moots, shops or similar gatherings. Because if you hit half of them with a tuning fork it'll go 'meeeeeee'.

Date: 2005-08-04 08:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] smokingboot.livejournal.com
Hmm, the very same could be said of half the LARPers I've met - I honestly wouldn't say that pagan moots and events are that different in the proportions of idiot egos they attract. I enjoy sitting in a field with a bunch of pagans and sitting in a field with a bunch of Larpers. Preference may depend on whether you prefer drugs or alcohol, getting naked or getting kitted up. My choice may depend on the weather.

But I do have problems with the more dangerous kind of New Age twaddle (whatever it is, it's not pagan) which pins the responsibility for one's life and happiness on someone else. However wonderful or special a kid is, forcing this mission of healing and parental rescue upon her/him before s/he's even out of the womb is so disrespectful.

These people desperately need 'earthing,' preferably with 5000 volts coursing through them at the time...

Date: 2005-08-04 10:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ed-fortune.livejournal.com
*nods* I can forgive generically self-centered people

It's when a believe or philosphy is twisted to justify that behaviour that my teeth start to grind. Especially when it becomes just another flag to wave to make one special, which seems all to common in 'new age' circles.

Date: 2005-08-04 05:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] november-girl.livejournal.com
I really really wish RichardO'Brien hadn't sprung to mind whilst I was reading that!

Date: 2005-08-04 08:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] smokingboot.livejournal.com
The ultimate Crystal Maze Challenge; Winners get to adopt a pagan baby Riffraff!



Date: 2005-08-05 10:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thalinoviel.livejournal.com
Wow. What an amazing way to make someone feel a bit crap about the non-crystal-telepathic-healing baby they're going to have.

And what a horrifying thought! Imagine having a conversation with someone who's entire experience is confined to a warm dark liquid environment. Someone whose organs aren't neatly tucked inside their body yet. Worse yet, having same all the time. Yeesh.

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