smokingboot

Because I am not trying to add a link here to the worst advert ever seen in a cinema. I recall Pearl and Dean adverts, bikini'd ladies suggestively licking cornets and hotdogs (never, unfortunately, at the same time) adverts for The Ring of Fire curry house less than 200 yards away (Why don't you go there after the show?) and, for those who find themselves trapped in weekend orbit around the Trafford Centre near Manchester, that bizarre papier-mache elephant head that comes up when they are telling you not to forget something (no, I don't remember; yes, I know...)

No, this is far worse. H&M may have panicked after La Moss got spanked up for her talc habit; if so, this was not the way out.

This commercial is directed by David La Chappelle, and is about 10 minutes long. But by all the angels in heaven above, and the demons down under the sea, it feels like hours. It's Romeo, it's Juliet, it starts at the end and is comprised of flashbacks. He wears his denims, he's shot shecomesoutscreaminginherdenimsandflashbackitstheballandtheyreallinmasksandsomeone
issingingasongwithnoendandflashforwardhesinherbedroomallpinkandlingeringshotandthesongwont stopandtheyreflashwhofuckingknowsorcarespeelingoffatransfertattoowithjulietandaroseonitand
fingeringsilverlocketsandflashforwardhesstilldeadshestillwontstopsingingmaybethepolicewill
comeandenditmaybethankgodsheholdshimthepolicearecomingitsendingandSTOP.

Over, it's over, final swelling chorus, it's over, it's over. Breathe.
Flashback,and it starts up all over again! But this time she gets shot too, so at least the noise stops.

This is meant to make you want to buy H&M denims.

I am never going in that shop again.