H&M or How You Know I Like You

[smokingboot]

Because I am not trying to add a link here to the worst advert ever seen in a cinema. I recall Pearl and Dean adverts, bikini'd ladies suggestively licking cornets and hotdogs (never, unfortunately, at the same time) adverts for The Ring of Fire curry house less than 200 yards away (Why don't you go there after the show?) and, for those who find themselves trapped in weekend orbit around the Trafford Centre near Manchester, that bizarre papier-mache elephant head that comes up when they are telling you not to forget something (no, I don't remember; yes, I know...)

No, this is far worse. H&M may have panicked after La Moss got spanked up for her talc habit; if so, this was not the way out.

This commercial is directed by David La Chappelle, and is about 10 minutes long. But by all the angels in heaven above, and the demons down under the sea, it feels like hours. It's Romeo, it's Juliet, it starts at the end and is comprised of flashbacks. He wears his denims, he's shot shecomesoutscreaminginherdenimsandflashbackitstheballandtheyreallinmasksandsomeone
issingingasongwithnoendandflashforwardhesinherbedroomallpinkandlingeringshotandthesongwont stopandtheyreflashwhofuckingknowsorcarespeelingoffatransfertattoowithjulietandaroseonitand
fingeringsilverlocketsandflashforwardhesstilldeadshestillwontstopsingingmaybethepolicewill
comeandenditmaybethankgodsheholdshimthepolicearecomingitsendingandSTOP.

Over, it's over, final swelling chorus, it's over, it's over. Breathe.
Flashback,and it starts up all over again! But this time she gets shot too, so at least the noise stops.

This is meant to make you want to buy H&M denims.

I am never going in that shop again.

Comments

That Add

[bad-moon-rising.livejournal.com]

I know exactly how you felt, it went on forever and consisted of wailing style singing that reminded us of Celine Dion. To add insult to injury, I think it was added in as well as the normal adverts, meaning you had to wait longer to see your film. I was not amused.

Re: That Add

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

I have never heard an audience makes such warning murmurs. Cinema audiences don't protest, do they? It just doesn't happen. But it was on it's way. We could have handled the extra 10 minutes if they had been stuffed with Orange adverts or another trailer; but this was the kind of thing that made you wish you needed the loo!

[bottomlescup.livejournal.com]

Nice to finally see you. :)

I love what you have done with the roses.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Thank you:-)bet you never guessed you were talking to an iguana!

The rose thing is nice, but I have too many moods to stick to it. If only there was some way of keeping these as individual templates. I'll be changing within a month, sure!

Is that what it was advertising?

[lucyas.livejournal.com]

I agree the advert is awful. I walked out of the cinema after a few minutes because it was so dire, hoping to return after it was over, sadly it went on for so long that a trip to the loo and queueing for an icecream was not long enough to miss it all.
I never actually worked out what it was an advert for as I was trying so hard to blank it out of my mind.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

The denims aren't even that good.

But at least when it starts you know it's time for the pre-film loo break.