Untogether

I cannot think tonight. Friends round, great discussion, head on fire, too weary to put it out.

Seeds then, talk about seeds I bought today. Wildflower seeds, daisies and heartsease and flax, columbines and meadowsweet,all perfect for a shakespearean garden.

Then there are the funky ones, the gourds, bolivian peppers and halloween pumpkins. I respect any vegetable which looks as though it could orbit Mars given the right engine. The best things about bab 5 were the starships, ever so slightly organic in shape, Mimbari angelfish and Shadow spiders. We need more space-marrows.

Looking back on recent LJ entries, it has occurred to me that I haven't mentioned the weekend. Well, Friday night was harrowing in the company of great friends, Saturday night was wearisome but rescued by the company of other fantastic friends, and Sunday was spent recovering from it all.

I am not peaceful tonight. I don't know why.

I should never ask myself honest questions.

I get honest answers.

Very Nasty Mood

I am in the mother of all terrible moods. No-one is to blame. I have discussed moodswings with LJ chums before, people who understand it better than I do. Sometimes I want to cry. Other times, like today, I want to fight. I am angry.

My backbrain is looking for someone or something to be furious with, and my forebrain is barely behaving any better, a well-reasoned thug creating rationales for my feelings. OK, there are reasons, too trivial and dull to list here, but in honesty they are just triggers. No, that's not all they are. I wouldn't be in this mood without them. But they really are pointless.
I almost want someone to try something, so that I can pounce on them and rip their throats out. Metaphorically. Of course.

The way to deal with this is not to cave in to it. I should go swimming now, plant the new seeds next, work hard today and then bellydance tonight, pausing only to use a dagger of the hashishiim upon the next great hoofing moose who crashes into me on the dance floor.

It's a plan. And I think I like it.

Fingers crossed

And then I read Delvy's news, and remember what's really important.