Whine

This is not how I wanted my first LJ post of 2005 to be. After a hol that managed to be both restful and sociable, my post should be of good cheer. Indeed, when I think of relaxing in the company of falco_biarmicus and neil sans lj evilwillow, cyanidemigraineand more friends of the lj free kind, I feel my mood lifting already. I should be happy and I must be healthy cos I have lots of work to do. But.

It's me bleedin' back, guvnor. In general, my back is a hardy hardworking piece of equipment. It has only ever given me real gyp once, Christmas morning years ago, when for some reason the whole thing locked up overnight and I greeted the dawn in a state of paralysis style cramp, desperately needing the loo. The cramp had reached my throat muscles and I croaked incoherently through 10 minutes in a grotesque game of charades, until my mother finally got the picture and got me to the bathroom. Sat on the toilet, I then faced the challenge of undoing my jeans and pulling my pants down (when it comes to help, my family go so far and then kind of blank out. Which is OK with me under the circumstances.) It was an interesting Christmas.

My back is in a similar state this morning, though obviously less intense or I wouldn't be writing this. Breathing out is a total bastard, and bending down is out of the question. There goes my love life! Actually, there goes everything. I feel very evil indeed.

Chum has suggested it might be a symptom of suppressed emotional rigidity and stubbornness. I pointed out that I am stubborn and stupid about a great many things, and there is no particular reason why my back should cramp up now as opposed to yesterday or the day before. She paused for a moment.

'Maybe it's cumulative,' she said brightly. That's right, focus on the positive.

Time for a bath. Hello 2005. Improve at once or get lost.

bath update

The bath has not been easy, but the resourcefulness of the Boot won out in the end.
Finding that mountains of bubbles felt nice but were having no effect on the evils of my back, I decided to use the positive power of our little 'mini-spa'...you know, those things that send whooshing jets of water throughout the bath in a sort of sad 'I could have been a jacuzzi' effort. Thing is, ours is situated half way down the bath, and what I wanted was to get the jet stream pummelling my back muscles. So I slid my legs up the tiled wall, leaned back and sort of floated on the mini jet stream, to the horrified awe of watching kitties.

Yes I know those mini-spas are mobile, that those little rubber suckers on their undersides have a purpose. The moment it occurred to me,I leapt to change everything, banged my head with a crunch into the taps and clenched my back muscles deep into concertina mode.

Today is officially cancelled.