Bad, suffering, lamenting

Cos I'm only just getting my arse into gear re tax sorting.

My accountant is ready to rock and roll, and incredibly, larians' attempts to get me to file my pay slips have paid off. I am only missing two pages out of 6 months. Could be worse.

Then there's my bank statements. Oh dear.

Oh dear oh dear.

That doesn't seem to have worked at all.

Addendum:

It seems I don't need bank statements after all! In celebration of this escape from intensive filing duty, five of these statements are false, five are true. Feel free to believe any/all of them.

1.A UFO was seen hovering close over my family's home in Spain by a member of the local police.
2. I actually enjoy watching rugby.
3. Chilli cooked by me is almost edible.
4. My scottish great grandmother made a living wandering the country selling tea out of a suitcase.
4. My spanish great great grandfather owned a silver mine.
5. I cannot count beyond the number 4.
6....which is also the number of digits on my right foot.
7. I really work hard at being patient and tolerant.
9.My favourite food is mushy peas and chips.
10.I have wings which I keep concealed.

Hmm. I like these. So they must all be true!