Corn Kings and Chav-cats

All the best to anyone passing this way at Lughnassad/Lammas-tide/Loaf-mass. Whether you are celebrating the ancient God of Light, the Green Man, the Corn King, or nothing at all, here's wishing you a harvest of prosperity, creation, security and, of course, fine beer.

May the day also be kind to a very snuffly Chav-cat, finally trapped and taken away by the RSPCA. They have told me they won't kill him unless he's evilly diseased and contagious. They will test him for HIV etc, and if he is OK, they say they will bring him back; they won't give him shots or anything of course, because that would count as being really useful, and god knows they wouldn't want to do that.

I know I sound harsh, but they really haven't been great so far; They gave me a number to call to find out how he was doing. I called, only to be told it's the main switchboard number and they don't have access to Chav's information, but they would leave a message with the inspectors for me. The animal collector told me I could phone today and find out how he was. The inspectors have just called me back, said the vet's not seen him yet, and suggested I don't call for several days. I am sick of them.

After Paris and our own kitty illnesses, we are too broke to pay for his neutering and vaccinations. Thankfully we found a tiny group called 'Action For Ferals,' who say they will pay for his neutering and shots. Thing is, I don't think he's a feral. In the cage, he put his ear against my hand. It's the first time he has let me touch him; he is gentle and afraid. If I find he has some negligent idiot owner out there, I may be forced to face the darker side of Lammas, and rise Royton's first wicker man; or maybe just ixnay on the weaving and bobbit the 'tard.

Come back Chav-cat. You're no lammas king/sacrifice archetype, you are just a scabby cat with no brain. Be well, you gurt fool. Come back and enjoy the summer.

[amended to add] Oh for the love of fek.

They just called me back. They are not going to hospitalise Chav just in case - wait for it - 'in case he's sick.'

With a stroke of genius unparalleled in the history of animal welfare, they have decided that if he's ill, he may give what he's got to all the other cats. Brilliant. You might have thought that in an animal hospital, provision for one of the most common feline diseases would be a given, that the extremely contagious nature of moog-killer germs would be taken into account, that solitary pens might be a possibility. Forget it, it's just not complicated enough.

Reluctantly, they will neuter him and give him a shot. What against? I ask. The animal handler doesn't know.

Am I prepared to feed him long term antibi's?
Yes, I say, only I can't afford them. If they can help with that, and provided he brings no danger of infection to Ralik and Surya, I am happy to do whatever.

Are they going to treat him? Yes.
Do they know what's wrong with him? No, they say, so they can't hospitalise him just in case. He's either back here tomorrow...or he's not back anywhere, ever.

I have battled stupid obtuse f*ckers in my life before. But never like these.

*Puts head in hands*