The shither hither blither

Yesterday was hard and wondrous by turns; the wind howled unremittingly for most of it, but when I came to do my little bit of solstice celebrating, all seemed late afternoon, bright air, washed out colours, grass bright as glass and long shadows. And the wind was never still.

It was not an easy day. We had to let the gerbils go (not into the wild you understand, though that would have been cool). We have kept two, but lack of storage space plus problems with endless dust and its effects on asthma made removal of the others necessary. I know all the reasons, and it was a decision made clearer by the death of Tux. I know it was the right decision, but isn't it funny? Hard but right decisions are the ones that make you feel lonely.

Not because people don't care, but because some trigger goes off in your head, and people can't necessarily follow you there. It stops being about the issue, whatever that is, and becomes about how sometimes there seems to be a thick sheet of glass between you and the world through which conversations float, fade, bounce off without connection. Guess it's just sadness.

A lovely evening in the company of larians, evilwillow and cyanidemigraine though I could not give it my usual enthusiasm. Tonight I have to travel down to London. I have so much to get ready and all I want to do is sleep.