Great start

I am up at godforsaken o clock because our cats are being very strange.

Why do animals react so oddly to some people? A friend came round and our little white cat, Mismatch, has been freaked ever since. Admittedly this friend is the same one who turned up with her toddler and freaked out Mismatch for 9 days, but no toddler this time, and the lady is as gentle as a lamb.

Now, little white cat is the smallest of them all, and is very good at finding hidey holes no-one else can reach. Currently her favourite is under the bath. Imagine a bath with all its underworkings hidden by wood panelling. Imagine one of the panels off. This is clearly some kind of cat narnia; she goes in to find warmth, darkness and an unassailable position among the pipes. She comes out smelling of rust and water with some kind of deposit on her fur that stains and won't come off for days. She loves it, and as we discovered, spent all day yesterday hiding there.

After my friend left, larians coaxed Mismatch out of her den, and like a crazy fool, put the wood panelling back. This morning she has yowled miserably, waking him four times until he took her down to the room where she and her sister traditionally sleep, and left the two in there together.

She carried on for a bit then calmed down, at which point, Ralik our older tom started giving it some. I thought he wanted out and let him go outside. I went back to bed only to hear scrabbling at the back. I let him in again, he went upstairs and started yowling. He's not hungry, he doesn't want out, ergo I'm baffled. I sat on the stairs with him, he was silent and calm. So that larians could get some semblance of sleep I have stayed up. On hearing my presence Little White Cat has started yowling again. I have let her out of the room. Now she is OK. Everything seems fine as long as one of us is with them. I haven't the slightest clue what the problem is.

And I'm feeling nauseous...