Dream of Dad

There's a kind of dream that shines clear as glass though sometimes hard to recall in detail. And there are some that are just clear, there, strong, incomprehensible. Either of these can feel, to me, like a meeting with the past and passed. This was a dream as inconsequential as others. I don't think it can be a meeting with Dad cos he smoked and while he smoked, all my friends who had come to visit smoked too. As smoking killed him, I suspect his dead self has probably given it up. Then again what harm can it do at this point? It reminds me of those times I have heard that the dead don't give up their pleasures; if they liked whiskey and you want a favour, sprinkle some on their grave, that kind of stuff. But how much of that is cribbed from Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil I can't say.

Still, it filled the room, all that tobacco smoke, and mum who hadn't been asked, could find nowhere to eat her food that wasn't suffused with the horrible stuff. I made room for her on this big sofa with an arm that could suffice as a table/tray, and there she ate. Meanwhile I ran around looking for
saucers and unused small plates that could serve as ash trays for people who were avidly smoking. On one, I saw a strange glittering little ring I wondered about showing Dad, but I didn't. Then he found me and gave me a bit of chocolate, which I ate guiltily, on account of my diet.

The dream had other images prior which perhaps led to my subconscious connection with him. One was looking for a pub which served food and still another was the moment when I woke up in the dream only to find I had been sleeping on the street at night... Then stepping off a hospital gurney outside a hospital and walking away.

Now that's a death dream I guess.

I don't worry about these things, being something of a fatalist. It'll happen when it happens.

All I ever think is that I need to get my funeral playlist sorted out.

The song I always forget to include is this one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPDLJ1UU2Uk

Not that video though. Thing about the Dead Can Dance; whatever's in your head is inevitably better than any video ever made for their songs.