Stuff stored up
Nov. 5th, 2006 03:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
smokingbootWell, that really wasn't very good.
I would like to blame my rubbishness on the events of the night before the show, when Special Shiny Friend phoned me in the pre-dawn, drunk out of his tiny bonce. Apparently he loves me. This is cool, he loves lots of people and so do I, so the moment I had buried any passion potential under a big huggy mountain of camaraderie ('Oh mate, mate! Course I luvya, ya big softie! C'mere have a hug! Awww! Wassup gorgeous?'*) we could get on to the real matters bugging him, of life, love, and all its problems.
Years ago, I could and frequently did stay up all night, discussing such things with chums. I would still like to do so, only now I really mustn't because (hangs head in shame) I genuinely want to be at my best for work. As was almost suggested in a friend's lj, I have been seduced; not by deep blue eyes or tight torsos or drunken declarations of love but by a mythical world. I am entranced and all sane folk can do is pity me.
A good night's sleep might have made me look less cadaverous but nothing could rescue my performance. It wouldn't have mattered if I'd gone to bed at 7; I just wasn't very good.
See, the problem I have is counting down to a break. Your producer says in your talkback: 'Ok, a minute to the break...40 seconds...30...20...10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2,1 - and mikes are down.'
Well, how do you know how much you can say in that time? What fills a minute, what fills 20 seconds, what fills 10? Some of the presenters slow down and pull words apart so that the whole. Sentence. Beeeeeecomes...R.Tee.Fishal. See you. After the break.
I need to know how this works. Talking to Sardonic Eyebrow the producer, he said, 'Now I know you want it, we'll do lots of intros and exits, they are the hardest part... and [boot] if you want camera work, I'm happy to do that with you.' Which is very kind of him. I am a bit afraid of it cos Sardonic Eyebrow is cool and critical, and he'll demolish me in the most well-meaning way; I can feel my ego shrivelling already. And I am pleased but slightly alarmed that everyone is so ready to help, putting show reels together, giving me camera work... Is it cos I'm really bad and they feel sorry for me, trying to bring me up to scratch?
Stupid maudlin way to think. I have just got to be positive and get on with it.
I had a dream last night that cheered me up, so I am going to record it for myself.
Walking along a beach with Catherine Zeta-Jones lookalike (she it was who helped me find this job in the first place) wanting to go into the water, finding a place to leave my bags and clothes. I found somewhere on the sand and bunged everything together, white blouse on top, it all looked inocuous and a little shabby. Then we walked towards the sea. The tide was out, I couldn't see water for a long way. Then it rushed towards us, and suddenly I was running into it, then I was swimming and then sort of diving/flying into and out of the waves. I hurled myself up very high into the air above the water and watched as a massive wave curled beneath me and people went 'Oooh!' And I suddenly thought, 'Does a high dive mean I will plunge very deep beneath that wave?' As I hurtled down, I knew I could swim or float or ride the wave. I wouldn't drown. And I wasn't frightened at all.
Now I am home withlarians and that is a warm, sweet place to be.
*What to do if someone tells you they love you:
DO NOT:
a)Go all serious and say 'Oh Honey, I'm so sorry, never in a million years.'
They will be excellent sports. And in the few remaining minutes of your friendship, will learn to hate you with all their might.
b)Go all silent.
They will freak. And will wonder about all the subtle connotations of your no-comment for the rest of their lives.
c) Change the subject
This will result in a brutal combination of a) and b).
d) Tell them you respect them
This is code for a) only it emphasises how deeply unattractive you find them.
e) Jump their bones
If you need to know why, this lesson is too advanced for you.
f)Say 'if only things were different...'
They will wait for things to change, be it the end of your current relationship, a tsunami destroying your house or the re-growth of their peg leg.
DO:
a) Tell them you love them too and then qualify and quantify until a soft fuzzy cloud of chumship clouds the question into oblivion.
b) Treat it like a gentle joke.
c)Drive the subject back to what's going on in their lives. 'This isn't really about me, is it? It's about you and Carol, and feeling a bit down about your life, etc, etc...'
d)Blame alcohol
e)Or drugs
f)Or brain damage
g)Leave the country
I would like to blame my rubbishness on the events of the night before the show, when Special Shiny Friend phoned me in the pre-dawn, drunk out of his tiny bonce. Apparently he loves me. This is cool, he loves lots of people and so do I, so the moment I had buried any passion potential under a big huggy mountain of camaraderie ('Oh mate, mate! Course I luvya, ya big softie! C'mere have a hug! Awww! Wassup gorgeous?'*) we could get on to the real matters bugging him, of life, love, and all its problems.
Years ago, I could and frequently did stay up all night, discussing such things with chums. I would still like to do so, only now I really mustn't because (hangs head in shame) I genuinely want to be at my best for work. As was almost suggested in a friend's lj, I have been seduced; not by deep blue eyes or tight torsos or drunken declarations of love but by a mythical world. I am entranced and all sane folk can do is pity me.
A good night's sleep might have made me look less cadaverous but nothing could rescue my performance. It wouldn't have mattered if I'd gone to bed at 7; I just wasn't very good.
See, the problem I have is counting down to a break. Your producer says in your talkback: 'Ok, a minute to the break...40 seconds...30...20...10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2,1 - and mikes are down.'
Well, how do you know how much you can say in that time? What fills a minute, what fills 20 seconds, what fills 10? Some of the presenters slow down and pull words apart so that the whole. Sentence. Beeeeeecomes...R.Tee.Fishal. See you. After the break.
I need to know how this works. Talking to Sardonic Eyebrow the producer, he said, 'Now I know you want it, we'll do lots of intros and exits, they are the hardest part... and [boot] if you want camera work, I'm happy to do that with you.' Which is very kind of him. I am a bit afraid of it cos Sardonic Eyebrow is cool and critical, and he'll demolish me in the most well-meaning way; I can feel my ego shrivelling already. And I am pleased but slightly alarmed that everyone is so ready to help, putting show reels together, giving me camera work... Is it cos I'm really bad and they feel sorry for me, trying to bring me up to scratch?
Stupid maudlin way to think. I have just got to be positive and get on with it.
I had a dream last night that cheered me up, so I am going to record it for myself.
Walking along a beach with Catherine Zeta-Jones lookalike (she it was who helped me find this job in the first place) wanting to go into the water, finding a place to leave my bags and clothes. I found somewhere on the sand and bunged everything together, white blouse on top, it all looked inocuous and a little shabby. Then we walked towards the sea. The tide was out, I couldn't see water for a long way. Then it rushed towards us, and suddenly I was running into it, then I was swimming and then sort of diving/flying into and out of the waves. I hurled myself up very high into the air above the water and watched as a massive wave curled beneath me and people went 'Oooh!' And I suddenly thought, 'Does a high dive mean I will plunge very deep beneath that wave?' As I hurtled down, I knew I could swim or float or ride the wave. I wouldn't drown. And I wasn't frightened at all.
Now I am home with
larians and that is a warm, sweet place to be.*What to do if someone tells you they love you:
DO NOT:
a)Go all serious and say 'Oh Honey, I'm so sorry, never in a million years.'
They will be excellent sports. And in the few remaining minutes of your friendship, will learn to hate you with all their might.
b)Go all silent.
They will freak. And will wonder about all the subtle connotations of your no-comment for the rest of their lives.
c) Change the subject
This will result in a brutal combination of a) and b).
d) Tell them you respect them
This is code for a) only it emphasises how deeply unattractive you find them.
e) Jump their bones
If you need to know why, this lesson is too advanced for you.
f)Say 'if only things were different...'
They will wait for things to change, be it the end of your current relationship, a tsunami destroying your house or the re-growth of their peg leg.
DO:
a) Tell them you love them too and then qualify and quantify until a soft fuzzy cloud of chumship clouds the question into oblivion.
b) Treat it like a gentle joke.
c)Drive the subject back to what's going on in their lives. 'This isn't really about me, is it? It's about you and Carol, and feeling a bit down about your life, etc, etc...'
d)Blame alcohol
e)Or drugs
f)Or brain damage
g)Leave the country
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-11-05 04:28 pm (UTC)but will normal food taste the same if you ever return? (grins) will you be speaking and sometimes hear the ghostly countdown in your head, even though your miles away....beware living with the fair folk my dear, people come back....changed.
Is it wrong that the humurous comparison between a fae mound, and a tv studio makes me want to run changeling quite badly :D
as for things to do when people say they love you,
i generally go with awww thanks, (subject change)
or in VERY rare cases, but do bear in mind this dosnt happen very often
i will say, awww i love you too - but this is reserved for people i care about very much.
as for E (take your pick *grins*) never a good idea :D
but in all seriousness, i hear all this amazing stories and dramatic tales of the tv thing, but are you stil enjoying it? is it still fun?
*Beams at you*
Date: 2006-11-05 06:27 pm (UTC)My problem is that my needs have changed. From merely surviving each show I now aspire to be vaguely competent. Clearly in danger of taking it way too seriously!
no subject
Date: 2006-11-05 06:44 pm (UTC)I am entirely unsurprised that you are so knowledgeable in the area of declarations of love.
Let's face it darling Boot, you are surrounded by many many people who love you dearly. Some of whom will have the courage to tell you about it without flinching, others will hold their peace until the very stars grow pale.
(hugs)
Love you sweetheart.
But you knew that already.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-05 07:17 pm (UTC)Thank you for your words, your hugs and your love. I don't deserve them, but I cherish them all.
Have a very loving and heartfelt hug.
Love, life, laughter, and linguini
Date: 2006-11-06 10:35 am (UTC)(snuggles)
Thank you, even your virtual hugs make a day happier.
No idea where the linguini comes in, but I'm definitly overdue for taking you out for dinner and flattering you outrageously.
Italian ?
Re: Love, life, laughter, and linguini
Date: 2006-11-07 09:39 am (UTC)Re: Love, life, laughter, and linguini
Date: 2006-11-07 11:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-06 12:35 am (UTC)Or, if life seems too simple...
Date: 2006-11-06 11:35 am (UTC)Re: Or, if life seems too simple...
Date: 2006-11-06 11:40 am (UTC)Stay away from that stuff!
Date: 2006-11-06 11:55 am (UTC)In my attempts to be fair all round I end up giving pitied minger too many cuddles, whilst tormenting desired object into confused tears of rejection.