What's that coming over the hill?

[smokingboot]

It's like a monster, only way too friendly.

My sex drive has a certain cryptozoological quality to it: vanishes for so long I forget it ever existed and then leaps out at inconvenient moments, like those panthers constantly sighted running away from shopping centres in South Mims, or the underwater beasties that have such an air of mystery, danger, and archaic power, yet leave no greater evidence than a few shadowy humps.



It's been a long time since a film turned me on. I thought 'Secretary' was fun but not sexy, 'Eyes Wide Shut' bored me to death, Jane Campion's 'The Piano' managed it and every porn film I have ever seen has not. I knew something strange was happening to me last night when watching 'Romeo is Bleeding' I noticed that Gary Oldman's hands are rather lovely. As I have never managed to find this man remotely sexy, even when he was wearing blue specs and promising eternal nightflame to Winona Ryder, I knew something was amiss. Then came one scene between him and Lena Olin (?) and to my astonishment, I felt that long low ache right in the pit below my stomach, grinding tight like gears not used to shifting.

There would be no problem with this at all, except I lack the physical energy to do much about it. My partner is ill and I am exhausted, so unless the monster does all the work, I have to concede this is a head thing*. One knows one is taking work too seriously when one is too tired to masturbate.

*Yes, yes, I know.

Comments

[wildwinter.livejournal.com]

Completely unconnectedly - other than to pause briefly and say that 'cryptozoology' is a magnificent word - I've been meaning to ask for ages; which show is it that you do? On which channel..?

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

(Hides head in hands)

I am much better at babbling about it when people don't watch - my enmbarrassment levels are high! Doubly so cos there are certain readers of my lj I would much rather never saw the show. But if you send me a private email address, I will reply with details. Don't expect mighty tv, OK?;-)

[wildwinter.livejournal.com]

*grin* Don't worry. I am used to babbling TV people - I am, after all, sitting here in a TV studio. :-D

ian at eirias dot net

[sixtine.livejournal.com]

Bah! Don't be silly. We all do jobs sometimes that we might think are naff at the time but we all have to work. I used to work at l!ve TV in Liverpool. The stinking pink sweaty news bunny costume used to live foul and grubby on the floor next to my desk. I had to sell advertising spots on the phone to lecherous men who thought it was funny to ask if I was one of the girls who played topless darts while they wanked. I still learned from it and it was still a valuable experience, even if something I wouldn't want to repeat! Don't ever feel shy about what you do and don't ever regret what you did.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Truth is, I love the work, and have no regrets about it, but yes, despite my babble on lj, I am shy about people seeing me. Weirdly, I'm the same about cameras and really don't like having my picture taken. That's something I really have to sort out!

Thank you for what you say. It's wise, and I'll remember it.

[squeezypaws.livejournal.com]

You think that's bad. I'm on "pelvic rest" which means no orgasms at all, even if I wanted them!

I remember reading Jane Eyre for the zillionth time and suddenly reaalising just how EROTIC it is. I like surprises like that.

Pelvic Rest?

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

How much damage can a few tiny little orgasms do?

If it's cumulative, might as well spend it all at once and have one big one! Seriously, can orgasms disrupt the pelvic floor so very much? Sounds a lot livelier than I can manage right now!

Must add that if I want to take my mind off these things, I stay away from those nasty Bronte girls. All that Victorian suppressed desire makes modern erotica look very tame...

[november-girl.livejournal.com]

What??????

[bytepilot.livejournal.com]

(snuggles)

I shall blow you kisses from a far city, and consider well the nature of icebergs, cold showers, and the 14th century.
Any other thoughts in the general area of the Boot libido are just going to cause trouble.

Also, chocolate, eat chocolate...

UNHELPFUL!

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Chocolate is an aphrodisiac, as you are surely aware!

Re: UNHELPFUL!

[bytepilot.livejournal.com]

Gorgeous girl, well do I know the properties of chocolate, that king (queen?) of foods.

Endorphin and serotonin precursors oh yes they're there and they'll make you feel good and slightly horny. But stir the delightful double whammy of caffiene and sugar into the mix and suddenly you're feeling good, slightly horny, awake, and energetic.

Besides oh girl of my dreams, if your fingers are nimble enough to type...

Love and kisses,

Oh Behave!

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

...If my fingers are nimble enough to type, they are also nimble enough to rip open a bar of Green and Blacks, pop the whole thing in my mouth and beat you into best behaviour with the shiny (possibly stiffened) wrapper!

Wretched, wicked, creature!

Re: Oh Behave!

[bytepilot.livejournal.com]

Yeah baby, Yeah

Then again I'm not entirely sure that my best behaviour would be that much better than my worst. Ahwell, one can but try.

Stiffening the wrapper shouldn't be a troublesome problem, 'tis the natural state of many things when in close proximity to a certain Boot.

Perhaps feed the life giving choccy squares to your Best Beloved and take advantage of their various properties ?

All the hugs you want swettheart.