Smellies and the strangest perfumier in the world

[smokingboot]

Even as a toddler I had a keen sense of smell. My mother used to tell me off about it. '[Boot]' she confided to me many years later, 'You would lift your nose to the air and sniff just like a little dog. It had to be stopped.' Her way of stopping me was to train my olfactory enthusiasm in the niffing of perfume. Her perfume supplies were elegant and very expensive. For her, cheap perfume was a hideous anomaly; if it hadn't cost half a year's salary it probably wasn't proper perfume. Arpege de Lanvin, Jean Patou's Joy, Must by Cartier...these were her standbys. My father brought back some stuff called 'Prophesy' from Saudi Arabia. The bottle was beautiful, but the scent ended up being ignominiously poured down the loo. A hardworking woman all her life, my mother was only a diva when it came to perfume, but in her divahood, as in all things, she earned a pedestal all her own.

I remember her allowing me to wear a couple of drops of Arpege once, and a boy at the school following me round saying, 'You smell like a real girl.' I was puzzled as, in my experience, real girls smelt of gum, but years later he confessed he was experiencing his first 'proper erection,' because of the smell. Powerful stuff. I never had the heart to tell him his boner was born of whale vomit; for some revelations there's never a good time.

Years later, I still love perfume. I am careful about what I buy but I'll test anything, and if I like it, find out about the company's status regarding animal welfare. If they're on my list of good guys then all bets are off. I am well capable of filling our house with smellies no-one but me can abide. Now, disaster has struck. I liked Thierry Mugler's 'Angel' because I enjoy smelling of vanilla, caramel and chocolate, with a bit of patchouli thrown in, yum! I was the first to wear it at the studio two years ago. Now, everyone wears it, worse, the Babes all wear it. To explain the Babes; on the upper floors of the building where I work, interactive shows are aired where girls in bikinis pout into cameras and pant down phones. Each to their own, still I prefer to avoid anything quite as evocative of lips and nips. So no more Angel, boo! And I've been using Versace Crystal Noir all last year. Now where do I find a new signature scent?

It was in the search for an answer that I found myself facing the strangest perfumes in the world; the creations of Serge Lutens.

Take for example, 'Louve' a French word meaning she-wolf. This lupercal seductress moves beyond the midnight turrets of Lutenalia to the nurseries of Roman legend, her white fur glinting against the snow and moonlight. Bitter almonds, sweet almonds, cherries...it's like being hunted by a Marzipan werewolf. She won't even have to rip me apart with her claws; the reek of cold bakewell tart will shoot itself up my nose and tear into my brain like a silver bullet, only mercilessly slower. Ow.

Then there's Serge Noire. Oh my. This is a unisex perfume apparently. When the master of Castle Gothica has risen from the crypt, fed the vampires, and rendered his eldest copy of the Black Mass from the Necronomicon into Latin, he goes to the old club where he sits in his favourite leather armchair, (I think it's leather. At least it's stopped trying to tell me things) drinking the deepest red and waiting for me to arrive. When I do he'll give me the best advice in the world, especially if it's about corrupting cardinals or sewing cadavers together to create life. Really heavy incense, cloves, camphor and other reeks from the pit, this has got to be Satan's own scent. I can't wear this, they'll put me in management. I look forward to meeting the human this smells good on. 'Oh,' said the assistant, 'I love it.' Well yes, believe it or not, so do I. But have you noticed how empty the perfume counter is? Not usual for Harrods.

There are others, including Borneo 1834, ever so spicy with a gorgeous patchouli base that might be great for larians, and Douce Amere which smells like rice pudding with a little bit of absinthe, and dries down to smell just like barbie and cindy dolls did when they came straight out of the wrapping, especially their hair, kind of...latex-ish? I am not selling it very well. It is a bit milky but very lady-like with an underlying scent that's like gardenia but not old fashioned. I could wear it to meet my mother. Until my boyfriend gives it a whiff, I won't know if it's sexy.

I'll list my favourites in other posts so I don't forget. Right now, I can't work out if Serge Lutens is brilliant,horrible, or just a hype-god. Maybe I should listen to the advice of my nose. 'Run!' It says, 'Just run!'

Comments

[caffeine-fairy.livejournal.com]

Have you been BPAL'd?

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

I have been indeed been BPal'd by the amazing ravenrigan and found myself addicted to Hand of Glory and Candy Butcher. Lovely! Now I want to see what the bottles look like...so far I've only seen testers. I don't want my sense of magic to end at the web page!

[caffeine-fairy.livejournal.com]

The lovely lady is a pusher, I tell you!

[ravenrigan.livejournal.com]

I don't make you buy the shinies, I just let you sniff them a little. =)

Have you tried Villainess? Only $100 and it's free shipping. It's like BPAL for Soap, or what Lush wants to be when it grows up, but they do perfume too. If us three can't spend $100 on Villainess between us some time I'll eat my BPAL collection. I managed it on my own last month, but quite a bit of it was for presents, honest! Their bottles are clear glass apothecary vials

The bottles are fairly functional (amber glass vials) but the label art is pretty, and they perform the important function of protecting your shinies from light, which is not good for oil based perfumes.

PS, if you are wanting BPAL (it's too late to order for Xmas now, but to combat the post Xmas blues)I am running the December group order on perfumed_waters while the usual person takes a break.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Villainess sounds verrrrrry interesting. For now, re perfumes (and everything else come to think of it) I am a window shopper making lists and hoping that Santa will pity me. Presents have cost me a lot this year - I don't regret it, they're worth it - and my olfactory dreams are just that. Even my clothes shopping is going to have to wait for the January sales. I have precisely two winter jumpers.

Fneh. I want to spend!

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

You know what, m'lady? I've made a decision.
I tried hand of glory again today and discovered I still love it. Candy Butcher may be a lost dream now, as it's discontinued. So how much, and what do I do to get HoG?

[ravenrigan.livejournal.com]

Funny that. The two people I have shared hand of glory with have adored it. Esther sent me about an imp in a bottle as a sniffie with my last group order from her, and I let DMWCarol sample it, and she loved it too!

Heres what you need to do. You join perfumed waters community, and when I post the Group order in a few days when the update comes out, you comment with your order.

I then comment back asking you to paypal me $20.91 (the 91 is for paypal fees, which I get charged if paypal has to make a charge against your credit or debit card. If you already have funds sitting in paypal you don't need it) by the deadline, which is usually a day or two after the full moon, to suzijolly06@googlemail.com.

I then place the order and it all goes quiet until I update perfumed waters with the order status.

Once I know how much postage lab to me divided by the number of order participants plus me to you is going to cost, I send you a separate paypal invoice for postage. It's normally only a couple of quid and MUCH less than ordering on your own from the lab. Unless of course I see you, in which case no postage me to you.

I'll send you my imp of Candy Butcher in the same parcel, and you also get a share of whatever free imps the lab includes with the order.

I'm trying to keep all the group ordering gubbins on Perfumed Waters, so I can keep track of it. Last time I had people ordering from facebook, by comments on my own LJ etc etc, and I got terribly confused!

[blackcurrants.livejournal.com]

:D I love nice smelling things. hurrah! I'm a Jo Malone person (Vetyver. Pomegranate noir. Amber and lavender. YESSS) but I also passionately love some of the fragrances made by B nevertoobusytobebeautiful, who are Lush's slightly more sophisticated, makeup-manufacturing sibling. 'two hearts beating as one' is incredibly soft, warm, roses-but-not-grandma roses, sexy roses- but "B scent" is my favourite. It smells of fennel, freshly mown hayfields, and somehow, a margarita. Heaven.

The shop is like a fragrance-junkie's paradise, as you can choose a vintage bottle for them to decant your chosen scent into. Oddly, I rarely wear makeup or even girlie shoes, but I never leave the house without something on that smells good. Thank god it's in London as I think I'd suffer if there was one on manhattan. It would be my 'reward' for far too many occasions!

[blackcurrants.livejournal.com]

oh god. just thinking about them again made me wander onto their site.
and now I want this!
https://www.bnevertoobusytobebeautiful.com/index.php?page=shop.product_details&flypage=flypage.tpl&product_id=870&category_id=644&option=com_virtuemart&Itemid=1

[squeezypaws.livejournal.com]

I have a bottle of Jo Malone Pomegranate Noir that is barely touched - it is sooo strong and quite masculine a little goes an awfully long way. I don't think my skin suits it, More than one squirt is too much on me.

I have worn Dune for years, it is like powdery tangerines and I love it. Quite fresh and juicy when squirted and then develops into a soft smell - very easy on the nose!

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Dune is interesting. I have never tried it, and keep telling myself I will, but there's always something else I notice first. I do like orange/tangerine scents, so now you've mentioned it I'll give it a go.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

See, I have only just bumped into Jo Malone, and tested Pomegranate Noir on paper (my skin had been claimed by the marzipan werewolf) and yes, delicious for night and the cold I thought, but the one that caught my attention was Jasmine and Mint. Wonderfully fresh, like a garden after rain. It might be perfect for the studio when things get stuffy. Now I just have to test it on myself, see if it's as nice and if it lasts...

Re B nevertoobusytobebeautiful, I have been introduced to them before, again by that queen of smellies ravenrigan She mentioned her own favourite, the myrrh based 1000 Kisses Deep. I was captured by the name (weird isn't it, how evocative perfume marketing is?) but the same scent that's so lovely on Su made me smell like cold curry. Wuggh!

[blackcurrants.livejournal.com]

I love the idea of 1000 Kisses Deep, but haven't smelled it. Oh! And Jasmine and Mint! yes, it's delightful. I tend to like floral things, or Boy's things. Which is why, I think, I love Vetyver so much. I got a 'fragrance combining coffret' on my last BA flight over here (transatlantic living is a terrible encouragement to buy lovely scent) which has 8 little bottles of Jo Malone gorgeousness, so it means I am wearing some things (like Grapefruit) that I wouldn't have bought, but nontheless enjoy.
Aaah, I could chat to you about lovely fragrances all day! What a glorious post this is! :)

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Oh, there will be more pongposts to follow I assure you. After our conversation, I raided my old jacket pockets to find a teeny sampler of BPAL stuff given to me by ravenrigan and spilt it all over myself. I now smell of a light but pungent incense courtesy of Hand of Glory!

One of the reasons I love flying is the power of duty-free!

A 'fragrance combining coffet'? Nothing like that on the flights I've been on, with 4 choices of paint stripper and a sandwich desolate enough to make British Rail look gourmet.

[theo]

With tastes as sophisticated as yours, I suggest that you explore Comme des Garçons if you have not already done so. 'Odd' is just one word for the range.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

I've heard of Comme des Garcons but never tried any...you've piqued my interest!