Pertinent to my last post

[smokingboot]

So, I worked a night show with the arm gripper again.

Everything seemed cool til the debrief after the show, when my gloriously camp colleague said 'Loved the shots of you [boot] - beautiful in that dress. Loads of cleavage, very pretty.' When I looked at him wonderingly, he pointed to the camera overhead. I hadn't noticed it. There was genial laughter in the studio when it was wondered who was responsible for camera shots allowing the audience to gaze down on a straight trajectory between my breasts. It can't have been that stimulating, I'm not of remarkable size one way or another. The culprit confessed amidst the chuckles. It was him.

Flustered, I went and got ready to go home. It shouldn't be a big deal. Like I've said before, the place is full of adolescent lust. No actual adolescents you understand, just adults who should know better. After four years on gaffatape TV, I have learned to accept that to masturbate is human, to get a room is Evolution.

Then he walked in, and it occurred to me that everyone else was downstairs waiting for their taxi. He stared at me and asked if I was all right. 'You aren't mad about that, are you?' He said, 'It looked nice...not rude, just nice,' and he stepped towards me, and I didn't think before I moved. 'Why're you backing away from me?' he said. Long pause. 'You've got nothing to worry about, [Boot]' he said 'I'm just a bit pathetic. All right?' I didn't say anything. You may be wondering where all my vaunted wit went. I don't know either. I just watched him go out the door, listened to him walk down the stairwell. Then I went home.

It's still weird, but I think it will be OK. Not great but OK.

I think.

Comments

[maviscruet.livejournal.com]

Hmmmm. Ok now he's just being wierd.

So hugs - in a friendly way.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Love them friendly hugs!

He's just a young and awkward schmuck. And I think he's got the idea now.

[thalinoviel.livejournal.com]

Whilst I have observed that you do have very nice cleavage I think you instinctive moving away is still a good plan (and lets face it, you did need to tell him he was starting to creep you out one way or another.)

Edit: just seen this lad has previous. I would suggest that you avoid being alone with this guy again and if anything else happens whatsoever you get over your qualms about talking to management.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

You are too right!

It's clear he got the picture. So now he sticks to his side of the tracks, and no more "audience friendly" camera angles...or things will get a bit more serious.

[nyarbaggytep.livejournal.com]

It shouldn't be a big deal. Like I've said before, the place is full of adolescent lust.

Actually, reading this, I just put my finger on something which was bothering me from your last post too.

It *should* be a big deal. It's not ok to exploit people that way. It's a breach of trust. Adolescent lust is entirely different from non-consensual perving. This qualifies for me as boundary crossing. Maybe it's become culturally normal at your work, but I still find it abhorrent.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Yes, I hear that.

Ironically, I am very private in my non-work life, perhaps cos once I cross the step into the studio, privacy can't be guaranteed.

It is the cultural norm at my work, and it's a pretty weird aspect of it. People want to have sex with people. Or they want to watch them and dream. Maybe not of sex, maybe something else, but someone always wants to watch you...Male or female, young or old, hot or not (in one's own head) someone wants to see. Ours is a place of voyeurism and narcissism. It's not particularly erotic though, perhaps cos we're all too damn silly.

It may be this sense of working in a silly place that's stopping me from indignation. Exploitation as a consensual joke? I have to think about that very carefully.

[nyarbaggytep.livejournal.com]

Exploitation as a consensual joke? I have to think about that very carefully.

Yes, that's a very clear way of summing up my discomfort. It's very subtle, and therefore hard to pin down or object to. I don't have any difficulties with people wanting to have sex with each other, or be voyeuristic - as long as it's fully consensual pretty much anything is fine by me. The question here is really about consent, and what is consented to implicitly, and what is not.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

The question here is really about consent, and what is consented to implicitly.

YES. That's where I am unhappy, that's where I am not certain.

And it is subtle; god knows I could flay someone if they stomp over my boundaries and dare to challenge my sense of self respect. But this strange almost thing, I don't quite know where I am with it.

[nyarbaggytep.livejournal.com]

*nods*
I think those of us who are obviously capable of dealing with the obvious breaches have more to contend with in the more subtle stakes. It always feels far more dangerous to me.

[ravenrigan.livejournal.com]

Part of me wants to go Awwwwwww, bless! Tahts the part that has spent too much time with socially awkward but otherwise adorable geeks.

The other part still wants to tell you to run a mile.

Perhaps he needs a girlfriend his own age!

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

He acts like some kind of sweet cussed puppy dog that can't stay out of trouble! Truth is, he's twenty almost nothing,just done some modelling, in a band that's getting BigInJapan, and OK just out of a relationship with an equally beautiful young thing but pursued by many vixens of that ilk. What he needs is to pull himself together and surrender to a reality check!

And I am in those running shoes, headed for the horizon!

[lucyas.livejournal.com]

What a creep. Probably harmless though. Mind you, you do have a nice cleavage!

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Thank you!:-D