DWW

[smokingboot]

Sitting in front of all the CICA paperwork. I can sign it and accept the pitiful amount they are offering me...or I can appeal again.

There's almost no point in appealing again, as far as I can tell it'll be 6 more months of waiting for the same amount.

But it is such a small amount, for something that changed my whole life. I try to think of those who get hurt much more and are given much less; that's reality. Let's face it, I shouldn't be complaining that my diamond shoes are tight. And I don't understand myself. Why am I so upset?

This time yesterday I was laughing in a friend's house. This time the day before we were driving into Kent, an interesting move as we were aiming for Warwickshire. This time the day before...I can't recall the day before. Life is good...but the truth is, a lot of the time I am not all right.

I could spend it on some needed repairs for the house oop narth. I could spend it on a party for my beau for his 40th, I could spend it on a very special present for him, I could make an exceedingly short film with it, I could get a little training in animal care, I could buy one (short!)term of a PhD, I could go for a holiday somewhere, I can save it for getting the beasties to Oz, if we go... I can do any one of these, and if I think like that, it all becomes easier. But to be honest, I would have liked it to stretch to two of the above, and there's just not enough in the pot.

It is no big deal. But I left those papers downstairs on the table, and cannot go back to look at them.

Not right now; though I know it will be all right.

Later then.

Comments

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Morning Butterfly

Thank you for your words, you haven't spoken insensitively at all. I value your thoughts.

You are right of course. There's an embarrassment at the other end of the phone when I say 'How much?' The answer is that such things are not quantifiable, and of course, everyone deserves something.. .The question is why the pot is so small for all of us, when buffoons like the Chairman of Thames Water get millions for doing their job very badly or not at all.

But eh, there's more to life than this. Autumn is here, shaking it's whiskey brown scales!

[abutterflygirl.livejournal.com]

Geesh I wish I'd have replied this morning. Talk about straight to the point with my comment. Apologies for my tired mind.

I hear you though. If the aim is to compensate in some way it at least needs to be respectful and somewhere near equal. How heartbreaking when the amount offered is so far from that, especially after everything you went through. I wish there was something that I could say that would be of use.

It's even more unjust when, like you say, so many undeserving people receive sickening bonuses and annual salaries for just screwing everything up. The system is so flawed.

I read your comment below about the interviewer who called it 'nothing'. It is far from 'nothing' and you deserve for people to recognise the pain and trauma you went through. I don't know where you are with this right now, and I know it has been beyond difficult but from where I stand I wanted you to know I think you've been remarkable, courageous and inspiring.

Now as for Autumn, here come the colourful months :-) and hmm, whiskey...

Llawer o Gariad xx

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Llawer O Gariad, kind butterfly. Thank you XXX