The Battle of Five Armies

[smokingboot]

Guess it must have all been said before; just terrible, terrible stuff. I appreciate the redemption of Thorin, but this really has to be the first time I have been relieved at the deaths of heroes because at least it meant the end of the film was near. This was Jackson in determinedly derivative mode, leaving no footage unturned in the recycling of popular LoTR tropes. Grima was nasty; here's a comedy Grima. Liked Galadriel's drag queen moment in Lord of the Rings? Here we go again! Liked the cave-troll in Moria? Here's lots of cave trolls, only now they're called giants. Thought daytime orcs were a Saruman adaption? Never mind. Oh, and Eagles, more frigging eagles because this story really needs more frigging eagles. The eagles should just rule Middle-Earth, they get asked to police it so much.

The Hobbit was never going to be an easy book to adapt for film, but spreading it across 3 movies and piping it full of antibrain was not the answer. God knows what Jackson would make of the Silmarillion. No-one is ready for a year-long film, not even with Thranduil poncing around at his most Elric-alike and falling in love with his magical moose outside the gates of Gondolin. Let it go...