Of his death

[smokingboot]

They don't know what caused it yet.

He had been poorly for 18 months or so, losing appetite, occasionally losing memory. Tests and more tests, MRI scans and whatnot, no results.

At one point way back he had to be sectioned - something about him refusing to eat or something - or maybe he refused to eat when he was sectioned - either way, his supreme powers of pain-in-the-arse-dom were too mighty for the hapless health workers who really do not get paid enough for the kind of sh*t my dad could wreak, and they discharged him within hours.

Still, he was not quite himself. Thursday he was admitted to hospital with a chest infection. He was weak, his legs buckling under him. They ran tests that showed nothing. Friday 2nd the hospital phoned his wife to tell her he was OK and to come pick him up. She couldn't come immediately as she had to get their daughter from college. The hospital then rang back to tell her he had died.

From what I gather, they now have to try to work out what happened before they issue a death certificate. They made some enquiries about asbestos... but at the moment, they are considering the possibility of underlying lung cancer. Looks like a post-mortem will be needed.

He died in a peaceful sleep.

Comments

[cuddles-batcave.livejournal.com]

So sorry to read of your loss.

Sounds much like life with my dad for the last two years. He passed away in May. It must be harder to cope with, waiting for the PM report. Thinking of you. Hugs

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for your thoughts and hugs. Condolences re the loss of your father XXX

[november-girl.livejournal.com]

I don't know what to say, but want you to know that I have read this and am listening.
x

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Thank you Anita, it really helps to know you are there XXX

[abject-reptile.livejournal.com]

I didn't intend my other comment about the poster to be flippant but I don't find that kind of sentiment especially helpful. Sometimes people will say what they think you need to hear or they say more than they need to. All they need to say is 'I'm so terribly sorry'. And I am.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much.

People just want to make things better, I guess. It's not a problem really, especially if it makes me laugh - it's just good-heartedness - but reminds me that condolences, respect, sorrow for loss and offers to be around if wanted are probably the safest ways to approach another's bereavement.

[semyaza.livejournal.com]

Yes, they do, and I've found that I appreciate it much more than I ever thought I would but on the other hand some people can be intrusive. I have one friend who wants to be near me when I'm distressed even though she ought to know that I'm a hermit in these matters. There's something to be said for black armbands as a 'do not come near me' notice.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

I had no idea that black armbands held this connotation at all! I thought it was just a mark of respect. If it's common, I might wear one at his funeral just to stop people coming up and talking to me about what a great guy he was. Just thinking about it makes me want to pound someone into the floor as viciously as he might have done once upon a time.

[semyaza.livejournal.com]

I don't think it has that connotation but it strikes me that people might walk on eggs around someone wearing a black armband, assuming that they noticed it. On the other hand, perhaps consideration for the bereaved has gone out the window.

You could slug someone to honour his memory.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

He would appreciate that! :-D

[happybat.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry for your loss

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Thank you Catherine X