Sound/Fury/Nothing
Apr. 19th, 2018 09:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
A little rattled.
The bro has sent a cute little meme to me, myself and his companion via messenger. It will have been very hard for him to do this, because it's a sort of oblique olive branch of the open-to-communication type, and I appreciate that for a man who has told me point of fact that he can never apologise for anything ever, it is a very big thing to do.
But the truth is that the originating idea of not being able to apologise is bullshit anyway. If someone held a gun to his head and demanded he say sorry, he would most certainly be able to do it, it's not a physical limitation. So he starts with indefensible behaviour, and then any move from that in any direction is seen as a massive concession, a hugely generous gesture, when an honest apology and an attempt to change the underlying issues would be far more appropriate. I']d be there for that. He's got problems, he admits them, he has more he doesn't admit. I can't counsel him but I can support him in finding those who can. That would be cool.
But I am fed up of people who are too fragile for humility, as though there is some vast gallery who will be disappointed to see them not act like mega-arseholes. I learned to apologise genuinely a long time ago, and it really does help, or at least it doesn't hinder. It's still difficult to admit that I may be wrong, but becoming a decent human is a work in progress.
I won't reply to the message as I have no idea of what to do or say that doesn't seem like a slight. Of course, ignoring it may seem like a slight as well, so eh, whatever.
The bro has sent a cute little meme to me, myself and his companion via messenger. It will have been very hard for him to do this, because it's a sort of oblique olive branch of the open-to-communication type, and I appreciate that for a man who has told me point of fact that he can never apologise for anything ever, it is a very big thing to do.
But the truth is that the originating idea of not being able to apologise is bullshit anyway. If someone held a gun to his head and demanded he say sorry, he would most certainly be able to do it, it's not a physical limitation. So he starts with indefensible behaviour, and then any move from that in any direction is seen as a massive concession, a hugely generous gesture, when an honest apology and an attempt to change the underlying issues would be far more appropriate. I']d be there for that. He's got problems, he admits them, he has more he doesn't admit. I can't counsel him but I can support him in finding those who can. That would be cool.
But I am fed up of people who are too fragile for humility, as though there is some vast gallery who will be disappointed to see them not act like mega-arseholes. I learned to apologise genuinely a long time ago, and it really does help, or at least it doesn't hinder. It's still difficult to admit that I may be wrong, but becoming a decent human is a work in progress.
I won't reply to the message as I have no idea of what to do or say that doesn't seem like a slight. Of course, ignoring it may seem like a slight as well, so eh, whatever.