(no subject)

[smokingboot]

Not so easy a time, a little bit let down by an admin cock up, a lot let down by a weak and silly person. But I have become better at discardia.

Work is hard for a daft reason.

I have real problems working in noise. If I am trying to write, seriously write, I can't bear much sound around me at all. Right now my hombre is at home playing some game I bought him, and the noise, little though it is, drives me nuts. I am hopeless with it. Music is odd for me, I could listen to it before or after work and it might inspire me, but during the process it's a complete no-no.

And if I like a song, or a series of notes in a song, I can play it again and again and again...Turns out it's a form of stimming, accompanied by certain behaviours that used to baffle people when I was a child. I've done it forever, no harm in it, but work it ain't, nor is it constructive.

Noise = friends and mucking around. Silence = work and going into my headland. And right now, the house isn't silent.

So I have to learn how to deal with that.