Am I ready to write this yet?
Jan. 11th, 2019 05:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
smokingbootThis is going to be a long entry about nothing much. Time to indulge myself. There are some friends who might be upset if they read the second part of this post. I trust and respect them enough to challenge me here or privately if they wish.
I.
The last two days have been a little infuriating.
There are many kinds of work that require concentration. When I write, I concentrate and when I edit I have to concentrate in a colder way. Writing, one is just there. Editing isn't only about correcting punctuation and grammar. It's looking at how the sentence sits on a page, how it feels when you're not involved, those rough or smooth edges, whether it is repetitive, whether it is cohesive. It needs tunnel vision.
I was doing all this yesterday when a friend phoned up with a query. I talked for a short while, told her I was working and pretty much chased her off the phone. Not long after that, she phoned back entirely disrupting me at an important point to tell me she had found the object of her query.
I snapped, 'for Christ's sake, let me work!' and rang off, her voice still apologising as I hung up.
I didn't mean to be rude. She's a dear friend. But I wonder if she knows what I am doing when I work. It occurs to me that she doesn't understand on some level, that she thinks it's me reading something on kindle and stopping for a chat. The second time she knocked me so far off kilter that my annoyance with her took over and I couldn't focus for the rest of the day. A lot of this was down to my feeling ill of course, but there is an underlying problem. If she phoned me while I was in a meeting, she wouldn't dream of phoning again until I gave her the all clear. But because I'm working at home she presumes writing is like knitting,something I can pick up or put down at any point. Perhaps she's somewhat unclear on boundaries.
This isn't my hobby, this is my work, and it's hard work. I want to be courteous, but I also need to get this straight in her head.
II.
Other things that are going on:
A friend of mine has been promoting this on his FB: https://chaosleague.org/site/sahara-expedition-larp/?fbclid=IwAR1JWw5eg7hIMMUnL04JIcf-rvaf2EW7bkU35XESTGLR-uDiFlFD0RGJx8s
It's not an expedition into the Sahara, it's role-playing an expedition into the Sahara, except it's being held in the Sahara. It's based on the horror mythos originating in the works of H.P. Lovecraft, whose writing was turgid. For sure he was neurotic, close to madness, with both parents spending times in asylums, derided by his mother, horrified by sex, misogynistic, racist... Frankly a catastrophe of a man. But his vision of a malign universe inspired artists and writers, many of whom stripped away his prejudices which while common in the 30s, are rightly considered appalling now. Those who took over his legacy added ingenuity,layers, creativity. The result is a very rich mythos which has infused much of our horror culture. And someone wants to take folk to the desert and have them go through some kind of psychological horror immersive roleplay? Sounds fabulous!
Ah well but.
It wasn't long before the Righteous made their presence known. Lordy what a pile of purity: Lovecraftian horror comes from Lovecraft who was also a racist, therefore making any and all derivation of his work, a thing of problem, never mind the evocation of 1930s pulp fiction, ripping yarns, colonialism, English exoticism, Indiana Jones, Lawrence of Arabia, Howard Carter,Eeeegypt being mystical at us, and things in history that someone somewhere is forever wounded by.
Obviously if racism and sexism was expected as part of the event's 'reality' it would be a problem, because no-one wants to imagine themselves in that kind of sh*te. But why wait to find out what the event organisers are planning when one can nurture a sense of injury straight away? What kind of idiot registers disapproval/lack of interest by simply not getting involved?
I have often said that today Narcissism is acceptable if accompanied by a wound. I would take that further and say the wound is the new sceptre; the bigger it is, the less likely anyone is to challenge you wielding it over others. Get hurt. It makes you king.
I hate that stuff.
Things that would pull me towards the event? I enjoy the desert, my husband isn't so keen. And I have always wanted to go on an expedition so this would be a wonderful fantasy for me, even if, in a Lovecraftian setting, the only choices are to run away/ go mad/ become a cultist/ face some horrible fate/a combination of any/all of the above.
Things that would pull me away? It's an expensive gig for a very short amount of time. The same money would buy me much longer actively exploring Tunisia/Morocco/Jordan.
But I'll keep an eye on updates, if only because I am bored to death with the judgements of the great and the good. The New Puritans are as dull as the old ones.
I.
The last two days have been a little infuriating.
There are many kinds of work that require concentration. When I write, I concentrate and when I edit I have to concentrate in a colder way. Writing, one is just there. Editing isn't only about correcting punctuation and grammar. It's looking at how the sentence sits on a page, how it feels when you're not involved, those rough or smooth edges, whether it is repetitive, whether it is cohesive. It needs tunnel vision.
I was doing all this yesterday when a friend phoned up with a query. I talked for a short while, told her I was working and pretty much chased her off the phone. Not long after that, she phoned back entirely disrupting me at an important point to tell me she had found the object of her query.
I snapped, 'for Christ's sake, let me work!' and rang off, her voice still apologising as I hung up.
I didn't mean to be rude. She's a dear friend. But I wonder if she knows what I am doing when I work. It occurs to me that she doesn't understand on some level, that she thinks it's me reading something on kindle and stopping for a chat. The second time she knocked me so far off kilter that my annoyance with her took over and I couldn't focus for the rest of the day. A lot of this was down to my feeling ill of course, but there is an underlying problem. If she phoned me while I was in a meeting, she wouldn't dream of phoning again until I gave her the all clear. But because I'm working at home she presumes writing is like knitting,something I can pick up or put down at any point. Perhaps she's somewhat unclear on boundaries.
This isn't my hobby, this is my work, and it's hard work. I want to be courteous, but I also need to get this straight in her head.
II.
Other things that are going on:
A friend of mine has been promoting this on his FB: https://chaosleague.org/site/sahara-expedition-larp/?fbclid=IwAR1JWw5eg7hIMMUnL04JIcf-rvaf2EW7bkU35XESTGLR-uDiFlFD0RGJx8s
It's not an expedition into the Sahara, it's role-playing an expedition into the Sahara, except it's being held in the Sahara. It's based on the horror mythos originating in the works of H.P. Lovecraft, whose writing was turgid. For sure he was neurotic, close to madness, with both parents spending times in asylums, derided by his mother, horrified by sex, misogynistic, racist... Frankly a catastrophe of a man. But his vision of a malign universe inspired artists and writers, many of whom stripped away his prejudices which while common in the 30s, are rightly considered appalling now. Those who took over his legacy added ingenuity,layers, creativity. The result is a very rich mythos which has infused much of our horror culture. And someone wants to take folk to the desert and have them go through some kind of psychological horror immersive roleplay? Sounds fabulous!
Ah well but.
It wasn't long before the Righteous made their presence known. Lordy what a pile of purity: Lovecraftian horror comes from Lovecraft who was also a racist, therefore making any and all derivation of his work, a thing of problem, never mind the evocation of 1930s pulp fiction, ripping yarns, colonialism, English exoticism, Indiana Jones, Lawrence of Arabia, Howard Carter,Eeeegypt being mystical at us, and things in history that someone somewhere is forever wounded by.
Obviously if racism and sexism was expected as part of the event's 'reality' it would be a problem, because no-one wants to imagine themselves in that kind of sh*te. But why wait to find out what the event organisers are planning when one can nurture a sense of injury straight away? What kind of idiot registers disapproval/lack of interest by simply not getting involved?
I have often said that today Narcissism is acceptable if accompanied by a wound. I would take that further and say the wound is the new sceptre; the bigger it is, the less likely anyone is to challenge you wielding it over others. Get hurt. It makes you king.
I hate that stuff.
Things that would pull me towards the event? I enjoy the desert, my husband isn't so keen. And I have always wanted to go on an expedition so this would be a wonderful fantasy for me, even if, in a Lovecraftian setting, the only choices are to run away/ go mad/ become a cultist/ face some horrible fate/a combination of any/all of the above.
Things that would pull me away? It's an expensive gig for a very short amount of time. The same money would buy me much longer actively exploring Tunisia/Morocco/Jordan.
But I'll keep an eye on updates, if only because I am bored to death with the judgements of the great and the good. The New Puritans are as dull as the old ones.
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no subject
Date: 2019-01-12 03:54 pm (UTC)Yes, in fact, Hell, yes! to what you say about the respective degrees of concentration needed to write and edit.
I'm porous (for lack of a better word) when I write and have to vet my social interactions accordingly.
Although, I have found occasionally that social intrusions during the writing process are often the Universe presenting one with fresh material. :-)
II
This is a particular bugbear of mine. I absolutely think art is something that has to be separated out from the people who produce that art. For one thing, it is so tough to create that most professionals I know (myself included) are horribly self-absorbed, and the meniscus between self-absorption and self-indulgence is very permeable indeed. And all self-indulgence is at heart monstrous; it only varies in degree.
Lovecraft is an interesting case. He was not only self-absorbed bur probably clinically nuts.
It's interesting that your friend thinks of Lovecraftian horror as a desert phenomenon. To me, Lovecraftian horror is so New England. I don't know how long you are planning to be in NYC, but if you have time, and are up to driving (on the wrong side of the road! :-) ), you might consider taking a roadtrip to Providence, Rhode Island which is Lovecraft Central. It's only 200 miles away.
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/14/travel/hp-lovecraft-providence.html
no subject
Date: 2019-01-14 08:53 am (UTC)As to the other issue, well, you saw my FB post. Thank you for your perspective on the issue! I found the whole discussion very interesting and flame free, an unusual phenomenon on social media.
I am astonished by the idea that anyone is triggered by Europeans on camels; it seems we have acceptable places and activities. I think we are allowed to sit in rooms and feel bad about ourselves, and then use cars to get to other rooms where we can feel bad about ourselves.
I think the creators of the event are inspired by the character of Abdul Alhazred aka'The Mad Arab,' and I would be very surprised if the event isn't based around finding his supposed creation, the dreaded Necronomicon, buried in the desert sands...
Yes, Lovecraft is New England to me too! I would love to go to Providence, but we only have a week this time. Still, I am hoping for more trips across the water after this one. :-)
no subject
Date: 2019-01-14 12:07 pm (UTC)I am astonished by the idea that anyone is triggered by Europeans on camels
People who are very in to identity politics would call that "cultural appropriation." :-)
no subject
Date: 2019-01-14 03:34 pm (UTC)As for cultural appropriation, why yes, I was surprised to find the phrase was never used. Seems the Deep Wounding was all about people emulating harmless 1930s Europeans from/in a time when other 1930s Europeans were far from harmless. It makes some people sad and cross to think of us even now wandering around the globe having a good time given the shit some people we never knew caused. And for sure, when looked at from that point of view, we are remarkably tactless and should all be very sorry.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-14 04:01 pm (UTC)Just another reason why I have absolutely no use for identity politics.
I think of it as cultural cross-pollination and a very healthy phenomenon.
Are black women who straighten their hair accused of cultural appropriation? I don't think so.
Cultural Cross-Pollination
Date: 2019-01-15 10:14 am (UTC)