That escalated quickly

[smokingboot]

I don't understand children.

The little girl who was so charming at the beginning of the week had turned somewhat monstrous by the end of it; she was clearly loving the space in the house, the slide-worthy wooden floors, the cats, and yet the tantrums grew more and more frequent if she was curtailed in any way. Her parents cajoled, bribed, threatened with 'Aunty Debbie will not invite you back to her house if you do this,' (a base lie!) or even more desperately, 'the cats will not like you anymore...'

What did she scream about? Not being allowed to endlessly bug the cats. Having her hair touched in any way. Not having her hair done when she wanted.Having her nose cleaned. Having her face washed. Putting her coat on. Putting her hood up. Being put in the buggy at all. Not being carried when she wanted. Being carried when she didn't want. Hearing the word 'No.' Indeed she reached the point where I swear she knew she only had to pitch a scream to get what she wanted, or to remove what she didn't want.

I have never had children so can't really comment, only to say that her father had the reputation of being the most spoilt child in the entire family, hopelessly indulged in every way, and here he has grown into a lovely and loving responsible father and husband, so 'spare the rod and spoil the child,'isn't always true. But it doesn't make for an easy life. I couldn't do it.

Comments

[mallorys_camera]

How old was she?

My guess: She missed home, had no control over when she was going to return to home, and so, was exerting control in every way she could.

In pre-covid times, I might also have guessed she was lonely—kids really don't like being exclusively around adults all the time. Although I suppose, in the time of the Plague, free interactions with other children is pretty constrained.

I'm glad we live in a time when people who don't want to have children feel no social pressure to have children. It is quite true that they are an awful lot of work.🙂

[smokingboot]

She'll be three in November.

Missing home is an interesting one; she travels a lot for a toddler. They go to Spain for every holiday they can, and stay with one set of grandparents or another, so she is used to a fair amount of leaving home... but that was before Covid. She's been pretty much stuck in a small flat for over 3 months, barring days with the childminder, where she is with 4 other children - so again, your point about loneliness may be pertinent. I don't sense any unhappiness in her except when she doesn't get what she wants or is forced to do something she doesn't want. Outside of these she's a very jovial little girl.

And yes, it is brilliant to live in such a time. I can Aunty with the best of them, having been well trained in the art; I can provide lots of stories and dancing and adventures... But the sheer hard graft of parenting would be beyond me.

[mallorys_camera]

Ah! She's two! 😀

Here, we call them "the terrible twos." 😀. And there's a reason for that: It's the age at which children realize they can say, "No." And that "No" will have an effect. 😀

The next time you see her, she will be a completely different little girl. Truly.

[smokingboot]

So now I've learned something... The Terrible Twos! Good name!

Apart from a little control, I hope she doesn't change too much. I like the little adventuress, demanding that her hair be free while chasing kites and exploring the sands!

[jfs]

What are you doing with my son in your house? Shouldn’t he be at home with me? :-)

Sounds like a tired kid, m’dear. And one who isn’t at home so doesn’t have a lot of their touch points to normal around them. Holidays are hard work for smalls, in my experience, because they’re disrupters of routine and kids thrive on routine.

[smokingboot]

I hope your little one is happy and well!

She certainly got up early, full of excitement, and went to bed late and reluctantly. Her father spoke about routine too, and how when she went back she would return to normal because he enforced routine there. It's difficult when everything is about days out... They visit grandparents in Spain an awful lot, and that's some disruption, but the weather alone makes mid-day siesta a fact of life, with a resumption of play late afternoon.

So yes, maybe that's it, or at the very least part of it.

[jfs]

And she's two, I see. I agree with Mallorys_Camera above - the Terrible Twos are a real and hilariously awful thing.

Hilarious? Oh yes.

https://www.sunnyskyz.com/blog/119/36-Reasons-My-Kid-Is-Crying-Temper-Tantrums-You-Can-t-Help-But-Laugh-At

Thanks for the brilliant link

[smokingboot]

Falling apart laughing!

Parents must have saintly patience!

Re: Thanks for the brilliant link

[jfs]

Oh I wish ... :-)

[conuly]

A disrupted routine leads to a disruptive kid. Though some of these, if they happen at home and not just at the end of a weeklong visit away from home, sound like they might be the signs of sensory issues.

[smokingboot]

Certainly sounds like disrupted routine might have been key in some measure.

Re the sensory stuff, she doesn't want her hair messed around with and this at least I can understand. Her mum puts her hair in the cutest bunches and plaits, but I notice the little girl scratch her head from time to time, and recall when my hair was done the same way, how it all inevitably felt too tight. So I wonder. Personally I'd let her hair down, but as you see, I know nothing.