Fire off Fire On.
Nov. 4th, 2021 12:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
smokingbootMy cousin and his wife are expecting another baby.
This is wonderful!
They took the opportunity to tell me that they are returning to Spain for good in January. And while I truly believe it's best for them, I am sad. R points out that my cousin's wife was never happy here, she was always homesick and to a certain extent, felt resentful at having to leave Spain to work here. That is true. But my cousin tried, and is a man who makes the best of things. Fact is, today's UK isn't a welcoming country. If it had been, she might well have come around and he would have had no problems at all. But you can't relax when speaking your own language gets you strange looks on the bus, and you're constantly worried that some racist nutter's going to have a go.
I'm not just sad, I'm very angry.
R's parents don't know yet, and when they do, they would do well to just shut TF up. They were very nice and polite to my cousin and his wife, but politeness is nothing more than comfort-guarding hypocrisy when it's just a veneer... and it is just a veneer if you smile at people but vote to hurt them. It is as well for us not to speak directly to each other for a while, because I function perfectly well without comfort or smiles. They will be fortunate to get even a veneer from me.
I need to beware of this anger. There's more than one thing fuelling it, tiredness, frustration, this sore throat etc. I need to focus on good stuff, the happiness of my relatives, the rediscovery of a good project, the readiness of my husband to take care of me and cheer me up especially now I'm a bit under the weather. I want to be better for the weekend so we can go out and seek the Northern Lights.
Soon I'll be better. For now, I need the fire on and some What We Do In The Shadows, even if season III seems the weakest so far... but then, I'm not even half way through yet. Feels like they need Jermaine Clement back fast.
This is wonderful!
They took the opportunity to tell me that they are returning to Spain for good in January. And while I truly believe it's best for them, I am sad. R points out that my cousin's wife was never happy here, she was always homesick and to a certain extent, felt resentful at having to leave Spain to work here. That is true. But my cousin tried, and is a man who makes the best of things. Fact is, today's UK isn't a welcoming country. If it had been, she might well have come around and he would have had no problems at all. But you can't relax when speaking your own language gets you strange looks on the bus, and you're constantly worried that some racist nutter's going to have a go.
I'm not just sad, I'm very angry.
R's parents don't know yet, and when they do, they would do well to just shut TF up. They were very nice and polite to my cousin and his wife, but politeness is nothing more than comfort-guarding hypocrisy when it's just a veneer... and it is just a veneer if you smile at people but vote to hurt them. It is as well for us not to speak directly to each other for a while, because I function perfectly well without comfort or smiles. They will be fortunate to get even a veneer from me.
I need to beware of this anger. There's more than one thing fuelling it, tiredness, frustration, this sore throat etc. I need to focus on good stuff, the happiness of my relatives, the rediscovery of a good project, the readiness of my husband to take care of me and cheer me up especially now I'm a bit under the weather. I want to be better for the weekend so we can go out and seek the Northern Lights.
Soon I'll be better. For now, I need the fire on and some What We Do In The Shadows, even if season III seems the weakest so far... but then, I'm not even half way through yet. Feels like they need Jermaine Clement back fast.
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no subject
Date: 2021-11-04 01:56 pm (UTC)Add to your list of Spain's attractions: much better weather! 😊
no subject
Date: 2021-11-05 08:56 am (UTC)And yes, Spain has many allurements. Having said that, Scotland is lovely... Just far too close to the asylum!