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Nov. 15th, 2004 01:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
smokingbootToday is not the time to panic. Tomorrow is the time to panic. Tomorrow I will be too panic-stricken to write this.
Moles. Number 1 goes tomorrow, and after that... no I am not ready to consider that yet. The problem is that I am covered with weird moles and freckles and they do their own thing, they always have done. If the docs removed every vague potential for a melanoma from my body, I would probably collapse outward, Boot the human onion. For all I know my moles are rivets - they might be all that's holding me together.
Oh I am tired. Larians is wonderful and supportive - much more than he should need to be about what is after all, a very minor op. No sleep. No real writing. The house is a mess. The kittens are however, wonderful, the freaks seem totally happy, and my love and friends are pretty amazing. Carrie sans LJ came up and we chilled. And Lilith? She didn't visit. Instead I saw a blue lighthouse in my dreams. The light was on. It was a comforting dream, but everything reminds me of how little I know, as if I am always catching part of a bigger story. I will return to these things, to Lilith and Samael etc, some other time. Right now I must get some sleep.
Moles. Number 1 goes tomorrow, and after that... no I am not ready to consider that yet. The problem is that I am covered with weird moles and freckles and they do their own thing, they always have done. If the docs removed every vague potential for a melanoma from my body, I would probably collapse outward, Boot the human onion. For all I know my moles are rivets - they might be all that's holding me together.
Oh I am tired. Larians is wonderful and supportive - much more than he should need to be about what is after all, a very minor op. No sleep. No real writing. The house is a mess. The kittens are however, wonderful, the freaks seem totally happy, and my love and friends are pretty amazing. Carrie sans LJ came up and we chilled. And Lilith? She didn't visit. Instead I saw a blue lighthouse in my dreams. The light was on. It was a comforting dream, but everything reminds me of how little I know, as if I am always catching part of a bigger story. I will return to these things, to Lilith and Samael etc, some other time. Right now I must get some sleep.
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Date: 2004-11-15 01:37 pm (UTC)You are in my thoughts.
xxx
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Date: 2004-11-15 04:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-15 01:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-15 04:29 pm (UTC)