Smokingboot

I have never really felt the age gap between me and the yoofuvtuday until a conversation via cellphone with a fine example of friendly twentyonedom. I could hear him wandering around his house, doors closing etc, all the usual...and then the strangely familiar sound of fluid tinkling against a ceramic surface. I gasped and nearly dropped the phone.

Chum: Anyway, the point is she took it really seriously and told -
Boot: Um, excuse me, are you, uh, in the toilet?
Chum: Yes,I'm just -
Boot; Only you can call me back after you've finished...
Chum: Don't be daft, I'm only having a wee, I've finished now.

(Boot listens and hears neither the sound of taps, nor flush, nor the sound of a door closing)

Boot: Are you still there?
Chum: Yes, I'm just sitting down.
Boot: Sitting down? Are you taking a, I mean are you -
Chum: No, not yet. I'm not ready.

I rang off, gabbling something down the phone.

Now I find myself staring at my mobile as I realise that this conversation, shocking to me, would have outright killed my mother. And to then compound the matter by recording it on lj (even supposing the upkeep of a public diary wasn't extraordinarily vulgar) would have had her twirling in her coffin like a parish tombola.

Ladies and Gentlemen; prepare to face extinction.