Slow

[smokingboot]

I think it is important for me to admit to myself that I am almost incapable of doing anything at now. We had to cry off catching up with chums yesterday because R was exhausted, but I was no better. Had to drop the gig on Friday night for the same reason. Today I had to sort my hair because it's all looking a bit brown-desperate; accidentally threw dye all over the floor then walked in it. Scrubbing it off doesn't quite work, even with nail varnish remover. Now I am She of the Red Sole.

Got a meeting tonight. Don't feel up for it, but in fairness it shouldn't be more than an hour. I keep not wanting to do things. They are never that bad when I do them. Still, I am feeling so drained, I may just need to watch West Wing tonight, after all, I've only watched the first season about 6 times. I cannot bring myself to watch Ahsoka because I found myself losing the will to live throughout deeply meaningful Andor, the unbearably stupid Obi-Wan Kenobi, and the stultifying Book of Boba Fett. Yes, The Mandalorian was great, possibly because it showed the Star Wars franchise at its beginning best; a western in space.

If I'm not very careful, I'm going to lose my nerd credentials.

Today is the anniversary of my father's death in 2015. His wife didn't tell us for a couple of days because... eh, who knows why. Doesn't matter.

Here's a family photo. Dad's the guy on the left with the teddy boy quiff, Mum is sitting below him. Line up includes my mother's youngest sibling, lovely aunty F who is holding the crying kid (guess who?) Mum's parents, two excellent uncles and the lady friend of one, check out that fabulous beehive! This photo always amuses me because clearly no-one wanted to be in it. My suspicion is that they were all bullied into position by my eldest aunt, who was perfectly capable of arguing the whole family to a standstill til she got what she wanted, in this case the perfect pic of family disgruntlement.

Comments

[bleodswean]

Sorry to hear things are like that right now. That photo is amazing in its way. What a capture!

[smokingboot]

It's certainly memorable! :-)

[flemmings]

Take it slow, take it easy. This too shall pass. (And now I'm trying to remember how will and shall work in Scotland. The opposite of Canuck English, I believe, but I forget how that works too.)

Dear lord, we really did wear our hair like that, back-combed till it stood up straight. Amazing that my generation isn't completely bald by now.

[smokingboot]

I am in awe of beehives! The nearest I came to it was badly spiked hair as a punk; never successfully either, my very badly treated ends were always wilting pathetically after a couple of hours.

Thank you for your advice, I know it's sound and true. I'm just frustrated!

[mallorys_camera]

Your parents were gorgeous. And it's interesting how much you look like them both.

I get why you want to do the things you don't want to do. 😀

Whatever you end up doing will be the right thing to do. ❤️

[smokingboot]

Thank you ❤️

[asakiyume]

Your mother and her sisters are so clearly sisters! Your auntie looks so cute! And poor you! Just wants to get down, have some food, go play with the cat, have that toy that was taken away, have a nap--one of those....

When do you finish with the chemo? (It is chemo that you're going through right now? Or is it radiation?)

[smokingboot]

It's neither at the moment. I am on oestrogen suppressants to shrink/starve the tumour before they operate.

They don't suit me at all, but seem to be doing something, fingers crossed! Chemo/radiation is to be discussed once they've taken it out and poked it a bit... unless things go awry beforehand.

I was definitely one of those children, desperate to scramble away, find cats, and ride white horses!