Big furry people

wandered my dreams last night; thick-set and smiling, wearing very little, they bimbled across strange grass lands and plunged into lakes, re-emerging with water pouring down over them, but not soaking them: the hair was too thick for that, and the water simply ran off. I was astonished by the massively hairy muffs of male and female alike.

Perhaps this dream was inspired by watching half of 'Calendar Girls' or more likely it comes down to the enormous faux-fur bedspread with which I covered my duvets last night. We bought this thing for LARP events, but the night was too cold for me not to use it. I slept like Shaggarra, Barbarian Queen of the Bear People, and the cats were very happy indeed.

Today the outside world is covered in freezing fog, with a couple of sad looking gulls wandering the playing fields. I'm staying right here.

Arse biscuits

I have forgotten my step-sister's birthday. Bottoms.

It was the 8th or the 10th or the 12th or something. Doublebottoms.

She's got cerebral palsy big-time; buying anything for her is hard because as well as her palsy, she's pretty severely disabled. If any kind person knows of nice stuff for prepubescents who can't see, hear, move or think much, seriously I would be very grateful to hear. All Dad ever tells me is that she likes Eeyore. Not that it matters because I forgot. Triplebottoms.

Hopefully she will have forgotten me, in which case my neglect, though stupid and callous, will at least cause no upset, and the late pressy will just be an extra surprise. Unless Dad's got her revved up to expect something on the day, in which case, quadbums.

Dad will be furious which means he won't contact me. There you go, hello silver lining.