Scammer World

HMRC called. Apparently there's a fraud investigation that I am somehow involved with. The warrant for my arrest is probably on its way because I didn't press the 1 key on my phone and give random strangers my bank details.

If I am never heard of again, accept that I am rich and happy in the company of Nigerian princes, unknown next-of-kin art investors, deposed world leaders and US soldiers who found gold in Iraq. Once I am bored with my life of luxury, I may join Amway or Younique just so I can call everyone 'hun' and bang on about a white mercedes I never wanted all my life. Then, when I realise that my life isn't deep and conspiratorial enough, I'll join the Qanon ranks because they are cheaper than Scientology.

I know it's always been crazy... But I don't recall it ever being this crazy.