Tea, Crumble, Nightmares, Deer Dancers

A great weekend, friends staying, TTRPG played, great conversations, excellent feasting! Reminds me every time that however well we manage online, it feels good to be with people. Chum brought me a sample set of perfumes from a brand called CURSED. As the packaging included a black wax pentagram inscribed with the name, I should chuck that out before the cleaner finds it and runs away. The scents are nice, the one I like most is called Pretty as Poison which to quote R, smells of cherry crumble.

'So you like it?' I tried to encourage him.

'I like cherry crumble. I'm not sure I like it on you...' came the reply. No pleasing some folk.

I also learned that the optimum time to brew a cup of tea is precisely 3 and a half minutes.

Despite the good times, I had a terrible nightmare on Friday night, almost lost to memory now except for the presence of a dark haired young woman, forgettable to look at, barring her malign expression. She was trying to kill me possibly by strangulation. I screamed and screamed, and R found he couldn't rouse me with a gentle shake, but had to shout to wake me up. Then I woke, terrified, so much so that even on Saturday night I found myself fearful of going back to sleep. For all my misgivings I slept like a baby that night.

The dream didn't feel deep. I think it was born out of a combination of deleterious factors, perhaps too much curry and wine coupled with physical discomfort. The radiation rash has flared up badly, with two of the three sites red and sore and the rash spreading to my back/ below the treatment area. Called the BC nurses to ask if this is normal. They've given me different sets of creams which I use each day, but I don't know if my skin is reacting to the radiation or to those creams themselves. Got a message that someone will get back to me asap.

If the dream does have a deeper component, it might be showing up my fear of the cancer returning and finishing me off. I don't feel this consciously but maybe it wouldn't do me any harm to go to Maggies in Edinburgh, get on some kind of course for dealing with it. But moving is hard and I have so much to do right here!

I am a little sad; no reason after such a lovely weekend, it's just body hassle. So there's this to make me get away from myself. 'Look at me, I'm a deer!' No idea why it cheers me up but it does.

https://www.facebook.com/watch?v=967624335316071