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Saturday Morning
Jun. 19th, 2026 10:43 amA big piece of work, three little moments of work beforehand, the only way this is going to work is if I divide everything up into tiny little pieces, keep reminding myself of before and after, ten minutes here and there. But it daunts me. We were hosting a little get together of chums last night and I wasn't even sure I could keep up - and by 'keep up' all I meant was sit in a chair and stay awake. Ridiculous. I was aware of the amazing woman doing what I should have been doing, filling drinks, bringing food to table. I will see her again today and give her my thanks properly. My fears disappeared as friends tumbled in, full of laughter and fun. The night was brilliant.
But yes, I should go back to the doctor, say again that something is wrong, stop telling myself it's nothing just because I'm bored with the tests and all matters medical. The fatigue is not improving, it's affecting nearly every aspect of my life. Come on Boot, do it!
In contrast, a friend who suffered a great tragedy last year is coming to the end of their long pilgrimage. They are walking the Via Lemovicensis, from Vezelay to Santiago de Compostela, over 1000 miles. It's inspiring but I can't help seeing my own version as a psychogeographic quest, every event a metaphor. I'd be in danger of turning the whole thing into Penda's Fen with added cocktails. And anyway R is baffled by the concept; 'if God is everywhere,' he says, 'why would you travel to find him?'
Kudos to my friend on this huge achievement, hoping that it brings peace/healing/whatever his soul seeks. How it works is, I guess, a private mystery of grace. One of my ponderings is what happens when you come home? There's always a part of me that does not want to return unless those I love are waiting. Otherwise, I would always go on to Aslan's mountains or Valinor or wherever. We all know Bilbo and Frodo can't just close their eyes and be done in the Shire, and for all Sam Gamgee's solidity, he too will be off to the Grey Havens one day.
The above is illustration is courtesy of The Professor himself ❤️
But yes, I should go back to the doctor, say again that something is wrong, stop telling myself it's nothing just because I'm bored with the tests and all matters medical. The fatigue is not improving, it's affecting nearly every aspect of my life. Come on Boot, do it!
In contrast, a friend who suffered a great tragedy last year is coming to the end of their long pilgrimage. They are walking the Via Lemovicensis, from Vezelay to Santiago de Compostela, over 1000 miles. It's inspiring but I can't help seeing my own version as a psychogeographic quest, every event a metaphor. I'd be in danger of turning the whole thing into Penda's Fen with added cocktails. And anyway R is baffled by the concept; 'if God is everywhere,' he says, 'why would you travel to find him?'
Kudos to my friend on this huge achievement, hoping that it brings peace/healing/whatever his soul seeks. How it works is, I guess, a private mystery of grace. One of my ponderings is what happens when you come home? There's always a part of me that does not want to return unless those I love are waiting. Otherwise, I would always go on to Aslan's mountains or Valinor or wherever. We all know Bilbo and Frodo can't just close their eyes and be done in the Shire, and for all Sam Gamgee's solidity, he too will be off to the Grey Havens one day.
The above is illustration is courtesy of The Professor himself ❤️
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