Terroreefied

[smokingboot]

I haven't washed any clothes for next week. mamapusscat has asked me for an email detailing shifts and times in London. I haven't sent it yet.

I am a little bit nervous of the new job. What if it doesn't work out?

So I am procrastinating; I don't want to think about it but it's hard to think about anything else; tense and irritable, it becomes easy for me to translate that into irritation with people around me; things they've done/haven't done suddenly magnify in annoyance. I tried to do some gardening, gave up, feeling drained, tried to write, my head groans, aches, doesn't want to play. I just want to sleep.

How I can be scared after the interview is a mystery, nothing could compare with that for sheer OMG factor. But it's my first new job in 5 years and things can still go wrong.

I should be smiling, dancing into the future, and due to a number of tiny emotional twitches, I am not, not quite.

I wish larians was here. I wish I didn't have to work this week. I wish I wasn't so bloody wet.

The third wish I can grant myself. Time for tea and a cracker.

Comments

Here's to the terror of new jobs!

[ravenrigan.livejournal.com]

I have no doubt that you will be cool, you are one of the golden people. Everyone is coming back to London! Twinkle_lfs (sorry i never can seem to get the hang of HTML) another old chum redoscovered through LJ is working in newham, you are getting a job here, and I'm stopping working in the wilds of Essex and coming back to work in a good solid north London postcode.

My CRB check came back all shiny and clean, despite Gordon's dire warnings about Arthur and the Warband being classed as terrorists, and my final reference should check out this week, and at that point the terror will kick in for me too as I wonder whatever possessed me to think I could manage 3,000 square feet of rat infested and neglected community centre never having done such a thing before....

So I am empathising in advance with the azure blue funk thing, while knowing intellectually (because I still have nearly two months notice to work myself up to the azure blue funk stage) that it is of course utter bollocks, and we will both be fine!

Perhaps if you are around on the erratic Wednesdays when we do stuff like that you might like to join us for Budgie Squawk (which is what Hollie's ex Rob used to call our rather pretentiously named Ravenwing group.) It's a bit like the Bimbos with added Morrigan, and no Bingas.... not that there's anything wrong with Bingas, just Bingas and the Morrigan a bit of a non sequiteur.

I am hoping next Wednesday, we havn't managed one for a while. We could do something to give heart and courage for new battles and challenges. She's good for new battles and challenges! Never worked out whether it is giving you courage for them or causing them, or if there is a dfference, but there we are.

Hugs

Re: Here's to the terror of new jobs!

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the above, you've really given me heart!

I didn't know anything about Arthur et al being potential terrorists! But in any case, I have no doubts about your suitability to run the community centre - if anyone can turn the poor thing around you can, and as you say, the Morrigan loves challenges...

speaking of which, I would love to join you for Budgie Squawk, though my hours may make my attendance irregular. I'm working till midnight next wednesday, but 17th or 24th see me free for evening stuff...

Re: Here's to the terror of new jobs!

[ravenrigan.livejournal.com]

The Arthur thing is old news (it's four five years sice I was very active on the pagan scene, and it was current then). My new boss phoned me today, iss ahppy to9 accet me with only one reference, (my other referee got a dose of the flakies), so I handed my resignation in today. More in my latest journal entry, it's been a wierd wired day...