Ominanimosity
Nov. 9th, 2006 02:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
smokingbootI knew there was a weird oppressive feeling about today.
Bad dreams. And then my dad emailed me. He wants info about my mum, where she lives, whether she still has the flat in Spain. Apparently the solicitor 'may need to know.'
My parents' divorce was long and bloody in the extreme. One of them looked after children and a job as a nurse, the latter of which could never really develop because of the former. The other worked his career, drank himself stupid, spent lots of money and became a man who could be very rich, barring the whole booze problem...but when the time came for divorce, pit the aggressive drunk against the paranoiac any time. She had to rely on legal aid, he had to stall, threaten and wait until her money ran out. The result? He got most of the property, she was just happy to get out.
Ladies too quick to saddle up and bride should take heed. The divorce laws have changed, but motherhood still makes you prey. Relying on anybody else for the security of yourself and your kids, is a terrible dependence.
Still, she got the flat in Spain, and now he wants to know about that. My father may be in his cups too often, but he's a shark when it comes to cash, knows how to grab and how to wait, and suddenly I am nervous of his avarice. I've no problems sorting him out on my own account, having more than enough unpleasantness in my nature to fend off minor devils. My mother, however, is very vulnerable.
I have been polite and said the truth, that I can't divulge info about her cos she wouldn't want it, and that if the solicitor requires anything, best if said solicitor sends the letter c/o myelf and I'll get it to her. Twas only after I had sent the email that I recalled that other piece of info he's been after for years and I've never given him; my address.
So of course, he is going to come back and say very politely that my address will do nicely, thank you. Only taken him six years to get it, and now I can't very well say, er, no, won't tell you, cos then he'll just ask for mum's address again, claiming he must contact her.
Her address or mine. How stupid I am.
You leave the warzone, and promptly forget everything you learned there.
Bad dreams. And then my dad emailed me. He wants info about my mum, where she lives, whether she still has the flat in Spain. Apparently the solicitor 'may need to know.'
My parents' divorce was long and bloody in the extreme. One of them looked after children and a job as a nurse, the latter of which could never really develop because of the former. The other worked his career, drank himself stupid, spent lots of money and became a man who could be very rich, barring the whole booze problem...but when the time came for divorce, pit the aggressive drunk against the paranoiac any time. She had to rely on legal aid, he had to stall, threaten and wait until her money ran out. The result? He got most of the property, she was just happy to get out.
Ladies too quick to saddle up and bride should take heed. The divorce laws have changed, but motherhood still makes you prey. Relying on anybody else for the security of yourself and your kids, is a terrible dependence.
Still, she got the flat in Spain, and now he wants to know about that. My father may be in his cups too often, but he's a shark when it comes to cash, knows how to grab and how to wait, and suddenly I am nervous of his avarice. I've no problems sorting him out on my own account, having more than enough unpleasantness in my nature to fend off minor devils. My mother, however, is very vulnerable.
I have been polite and said the truth, that I can't divulge info about her cos she wouldn't want it, and that if the solicitor requires anything, best if said solicitor sends the letter c/o myelf and I'll get it to her. Twas only after I had sent the email that I recalled that other piece of info he's been after for years and I've never given him; my address.
So of course, he is going to come back and say very politely that my address will do nicely, thank you. Only taken him six years to get it, and now I can't very well say, er, no, won't tell you, cos then he'll just ask for mum's address again, claiming he must contact her.
Her address or mine. How stupid I am.
You leave the warzone, and promptly forget everything you learned there.
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Date: 2006-11-09 03:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 04:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 04:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 03:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 04:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 06:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 10:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 08:34 pm (UTC)'Cos I know nothing else will help.
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Date: 2006-11-09 10:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 09:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-09 10:33 pm (UTC)Thank you for such a kind offer.
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Date: 2006-11-10 07:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-10 07:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-10 09:19 am (UTC)I am SO sorry that this is happening.
Firstly, I would call citizens advice and ask whether he can demand your mothers address and/or harass you like this. I'd also check how your Mother stands as the rights of the victim have improved, tell them everything! how the property was split, how she was bullied etc/etc! His greed might be his undoing (one hopes).
And remember this is not your fault! Hugs Lore
no subject
Date: 2006-11-10 10:07 am (UTC)*hugs back*
no subject
Date: 2006-11-10 03:56 pm (UTC)No more is needed from me except possibly (More Hugs)