'Blaaar!' Cried Cromwell the War Toad

[smokingboot]

So here I am trying to write a horror love story, and I really do have the most beautiful idea, gorgeous and delicate. Can I write it?

My writing displeases me. It's awkward. I am trying so hard, too hard, and conversely, I have lost my discipline. I don't know how to just flow into the writing, or how to sustain the effort. No idea what's wrong with me!

This is not made easier by the news that two of my colleagues have just made a short film now shortlisted for some prestigious attention. I'm not surprised as they are both immensely talented, but I am frustrated; don't get me wrong, they worked long and hard and deserve what they're getting. I just wish I could create the pictures in my head with as much clarity and energy as they do. I envy their strength and application. It's not my imagination, I'm not doing myself down, this is not modesty or self-deprecation. I really am writing badly. Blaaar!

Comments

[blackcurrants.livejournal.com]

Your writing is so gossamer-perfect that I hesitate to suggest anything, but in case it helps: one of the things that sometimes works for me when the ideas in my head and the words on the page are jarringly difficult is changing how I listen to the sound of the ideas in my mind. Sometimes I picture a character humming of singing or listening to music, just so I can hear the music too, or I imagine them whispering something to someone, so I can listen in and catch whatever it is I'm missing. Sometimes I go on long walks alone, muttering to myself, and don't put pen to paper until I have the rhythm of some of the words right.

... This is teaching my chupacabra how to suck goats, I know, and I apologise for the presumption. What I'm mean is - ugh, how horrible, I'm wishing you well!

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Well now, you are far too kind! Suggest away, right now my words are Doc Martens with knives in their steel toe-caps, brutish and villainous. Thank you for the above, looking at it from that point of view I became aware that that the narrative voice is off - the story is being told to me by the wrong protagonist.

The other thing that occurs to me is how little I trust the 20/21st century voice in terms of story. I consider it a spin doctor, a PR writer, a reviewer, a journalist, a movie maker. I like it but I don't feel adroit with it. Perhaps that's why I look at the work of my colleagues and feel a bit wistful. They are the 21st century voice!

[blackcurrants.livejournal.com]

I am quite, quite obsessed with narrative voice - especially 3rd person narrators (omniscient or otherwise) - it's actually the subject of my PhD (in C18th Lit). And I share your wistfulness, but not about film, interestingly enough. I get wistful about other people's mastery of voice, but for me, it is not and cannot ever be a visual thing. Words plus visuals, yes, oookay - but more voiceover than, say, the narrative-visual-presence in early gus van sant films. . .

Also, if I may geekily fangirl for a moment, the eighteenth century touches in The Spider's Bride are delightful. Cruel, witty, and delightful. Swiftian! And... hmmm. I am now very interested in how I feel about the 20th/21st century voice in terms of story. I think... surely one has to be adroit with it, at some level? Surely all our existence happens in narrative?
.... I have had two beers with my lunch. I'm fascinated, and I meander. I'm terribly sorry.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

LOL! What are you apologising for? It fascinates me too! And the lovely things you say to me re my writing leave me awed and abashed! Yes, I have a great admration for Swift in all his fanged glory:-)

Certainly in The Spiders Bride, the movement away from 1st person narrative occurs as the Bride loses her sense of self and identifies more with someone in a fairy tale, but inevitably my comfort zone is first person narrative - usually because a story comes to me as though someone was standing there telling it to me.

The story I am writing will not benefit from that. Back, back to 3rd person! My problem is that my education stops in the mid 20th century and it is tremendously limited. I must read more, I must learn.

The movie voice, oh, how I love it! But creating a screenplay is something I have never tried and I must. I've co-written comic strips before, but they don't work for me - and as there are similarities between the forms this may be a woeful indicator. If I can get my colleagues to give me a copy of their film and their screenplay, I can maybe learn something from breaking it down.

Wouldn't it be cool if we were sharing beers and having this conversation? If I ever get across to New York, let's pencil in beertalk time!

[blackcurrants.livejournal.com]

I'm in! :)

The third person does have its problems for me, namely that I am bad at restraining myself and trusting the reader to get it. But the reader always does, and I overworry.

Come to nooo yoik! It's very nice.