smokingboot

I dreamed I had somehow ended up in a LARP, run by someone called Lisa; I don't even know why I was there, I had no costume, no money and no clue as to what was going on...it was part of a series of these things. But I have dreamed of it before, this particular system where there were lots of different kinds of creatures. I saw a man who was a tree, not like an ent - it was like he was embodied in the uppermost branches of the tree, extending out into the twigs and leaves while he was projected onto the front. I don't know whether his legs coalesced into a trunk or not. I know he seemed happy.

A lioness was angry with me, growling and looking ready to bite. Another lioness came and saw her off. This morning I woke and Ralik cat was gone, so maybe I heard a cat fight in the night and my subconscious translated it. I hope he comes back soon.

A memory, of being in a field with Helen's little grey pony. I didn't want to ride it, I wanted to run with it, so we both ran around the field together, jumping and playing. That's all I have ever wanted.

HOLY SHIT

I was writing the above when a terrible pain gripped the centre of my chest, crushing, so painful. I undid my bra, and went to my bedroom and lay on the floor, my glasses fell off. The pain stayed, huritng so intensely, got up, phoned the dr, they said I should get an ambulance or get to A&E, but I can't - and anyway, the pain is much less now, just a pain I've had in my back all morning, and a little sense of nausea, slight discomfort in my chest. I want to be here for Ralik. I can't write.