Rick’s Café Américain
May. 9th, 2021 10:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
smokingbootThat would be a great place to be, sitting in a deeply shaded room, possibly opposite Humphrey Bogart, looking into his eyes and getting so so drunk, so drunk you didn't even fancy him anymore. Being so terribly drunk you couldn't remember anything.
Unfortunately in situations like this, it never works. I have drunk plenty in my life, from studenthood to whenever, and with my father's genes and a 70s upbringing, chances are I could have been a very promising alcoholic. But when it comes down to it, that's not how my obsessions work. I don't crave in that way. And my drinking to forget would be a complete waste of time because when it matters a crate of cooking rum down my neck won't shift it from my brain; I remember and keep on remembering until it doesn't matter any more.
A few quite unpleasant things have happened in my life. I'd live through them all again right now, gladly, yes even that one, if somehow they could karmically add up to a reprieve for the innocent who suffered last night.
No point going into it here; it's very ugly and there's no point spreading it. This is where I am and someone else is suffering far more than me, at least I have the comfort of writing this here. Sent my words of support for all the good they do.
All right, DW, all right. Time to stop for a while.
Unfortunately in situations like this, it never works. I have drunk plenty in my life, from studenthood to whenever, and with my father's genes and a 70s upbringing, chances are I could have been a very promising alcoholic. But when it comes down to it, that's not how my obsessions work. I don't crave in that way. And my drinking to forget would be a complete waste of time because when it matters a crate of cooking rum down my neck won't shift it from my brain; I remember and keep on remembering until it doesn't matter any more.
A few quite unpleasant things have happened in my life. I'd live through them all again right now, gladly, yes even that one, if somehow they could karmically add up to a reprieve for the innocent who suffered last night.
No point going into it here; it's very ugly and there's no point spreading it. This is where I am and someone else is suffering far more than me, at least I have the comfort of writing this here. Sent my words of support for all the good they do.
All right, DW, all right. Time to stop for a while.
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no subject
Date: 2021-05-09 11:28 pm (UTC)