Moon Knight and May Day
May. 1st, 2022 08:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
smokingbootYesterday was a bit odd. We were meant to be going for a fab Indian in Edinburgh followed by Madame Butterfly at the Playhouse. R wasn't up for it, very tired, so we cancelled. We watched Moon Knight instead, which is my kind of hocum. Episode 5 is my bag. But...
One part of it triggered (how I hate this word!) the hell out of me. I kept going, but it came as a shock, and afterwards I felt that inward collapse, that desire for tears. I stopped myself, but here I am this morning, and for all I went and washed my face in the May dew when the sun was but fresh upon it etcetera etcetera, and tried to work myself up into a state of Beltane optimism, I am still not quite right.
It's an odd feeling for this time. I have something special planned with a mate for today, and I know I will enjoy it, but getting ready is hard, in fact doing anything is hard. There are other things too, people close to me going through undeserved difficulties. What difficulties are deserved?
It's painful and I want to cry. But it's stupid so I won't cry. I just need to get up off this chair and go.
Damn this hurts.
But that's a small thing really, the season marches on and we look for beauty or love or adventure whatever. If you're passing this way, may you find it. Happy May Day to you!
One part of it triggered (how I hate this word!) the hell out of me. I kept going, but it came as a shock, and afterwards I felt that inward collapse, that desire for tears. I stopped myself, but here I am this morning, and for all I went and washed my face in the May dew when the sun was but fresh upon it etcetera etcetera, and tried to work myself up into a state of Beltane optimism, I am still not quite right.
It's an odd feeling for this time. I have something special planned with a mate for today, and I know I will enjoy it, but getting ready is hard, in fact doing anything is hard. There are other things too, people close to me going through undeserved difficulties. What difficulties are deserved?
It's painful and I want to cry. But it's stupid so I won't cry. I just need to get up off this chair and go.
Damn this hurts.
But that's a small thing really, the season marches on and we look for beauty or love or adventure whatever. If you're passing this way, may you find it. Happy May Day to you!
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}