Hands Off!
Mar. 19th, 2012 01:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
smokingbootIf someone you care about goes through some sort of trauma do not:
a) Hug them. It may just seem humane to you, but they may not like or want the contact you are offering. Ask first.
b)Keep hugging them even when they begin to show distress.
c)Prevent them from getting out of your embrace, or in any way pressurise them into staying in your arms 'because you wuv them.' Oh no you don't and they know it.
d) Draw them very close to your mouth and lock them in your arms so that bar fighting or screaming, they cannot get you off.
e) Tell them how much you adore them and how you don't want to see them as a 'sad rag.' As if they were doing something wrong in being first shocked by their trauma and now shocked by your horrible creepy behaviour.
If you have attempted anything in the list beyond A, face the fact that you need to sort yourself out, and go do it. Now, before you f*ck anything else up.
PS. This is not just a pop at one individual; it's a warning to anybody tempted to use friendship in adversity as a means of attempting romantic closeness. Wrong place for agendas!
a) Hug them. It may just seem humane to you, but they may not like or want the contact you are offering. Ask first.
b)Keep hugging them even when they begin to show distress.
c)Prevent them from getting out of your embrace, or in any way pressurise them into staying in your arms 'because you wuv them.' Oh no you don't and they know it.
d) Draw them very close to your mouth and lock them in your arms so that bar fighting or screaming, they cannot get you off.
e) Tell them how much you adore them and how you don't want to see them as a 'sad rag.' As if they were doing something wrong in being first shocked by their trauma and now shocked by your horrible creepy behaviour.
If you have attempted anything in the list beyond A, face the fact that you need to sort yourself out, and go do it. Now, before you f*ck anything else up.
PS. This is not just a pop at one individual; it's a warning to anybody tempted to use friendship in adversity as a means of attempting romantic closeness. Wrong place for agendas!
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no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 02:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 04:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 03:57 pm (UTC)Hello!
Date: 2012-03-19 04:53 pm (UTC)I am less angry than I was. But it still is not, was not and will never be OK.
Re: Hello!
Date: 2012-03-19 05:00 pm (UTC)Re: Hello!
Date: 2012-03-19 05:12 pm (UTC)The things you mentioned are exactly appropriate in such circumstances. Sometimes I wish I could carry you in my head!
See, that would be scary in an elegant, interesting way...
BTW, how are you? I hope you are well. Miss you both!
Re: Hello!
Date: 2012-03-19 05:21 pm (UTC)Re: Hello!
Date: 2012-03-19 05:28 pm (UTC)Let's do this but not tell our beloved ones, see how long it takes them to guess:-D
Re: Hello!
Date: 2012-03-19 05:34 pm (UTC)as for russ noticing, well id give it my very best shot to act naturally, but i suspect he might :)
Re: Hello!
Date: 2012-03-19 05:38 pm (UTC)Can you imagine if we left traces?
Russ would catch on quickly I suspect, but not as fast as Wendy!
PS. Ooh, ooh! And in the unlikely event that you have missed 'Misfits' I think you would completely love the whole thing!
Re: Hello!
Date: 2012-03-19 05:42 pm (UTC)see wendy would normally catch on dead quick but she is being so kind about my illnesses and eccentricites at the second she might not mention it. and i HAVE missed misfits and will go look it up immediately :)
Re: Hello!
Date: 2012-03-19 05:45 pm (UTC)Re Misfits, I haven't seen the 3rd series, but the first two are utterly incredible. Chronology's important though...
no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 05:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 05:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 07:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 10:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-20 10:09 am (UTC)Have you considered carrying a taser for such circumstances ?
no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 07:39 pm (UTC)Euw.
no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 10:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 08:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-19 10:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-21 11:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-22 11:35 am (UTC)Ironically, I feel a real fury towards this friend, something I don't feel towards the criminal.